0:00:00 – Speaker 1
nextTalk contains content of a mature nature.
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Today we’re talking about instilling truth into our kids, mmm.
0:00:39 – Speaker 1
That’s all I got. That is hard to do and it’s hard to know what that looks like sometimes.
0:00:46 – Speaker 2
Well, how do we? I think the balance that I try to find is how do we instill truth without drowning them in lectures Like that’s a big thing, because we don’t want to like preach to our kids?
0:00:56 – Speaker 1
We want to be able to share the truth, give a sound word without them being like okay. We want them to learn how to form their own opinions based on truth Right.
0:01:07 – Speaker 2
And let’s just define what we say is truth. I think that’s super important At nextTalk, you know, you always hear us say that it’s so imperative to point our kids to Jesus. Jesus is the foundation for everything that we do here, and so our goal is to seek God’s truth and the truth and wisdom that comes from the Bible. So when you hear us say the word truth, that’s what we mean by that. I know other people define it differently and they use it differently, but when we say truth like point your kids to the truth, we’re saying point your kids to God, and so I just want to clarify that for everyone as we move forward.
Now that doesn’t mean, if you disagree with us, that I still think you’re going to find the show super helpful. So don’t tune out. Yes, because whatever kind of morals or beliefs you’re trying to instill in your child, even if they’re not Biblically based, how do you do that? How do you have those conversations to make sure your kids know right from wrong? And you know it’s going to look different at different ages.
0:02:07 – Speaker 1
Learning to point our kids to God’s truth. A lot of times it does take engaging conversations. You know and we don’t. So we’re not saying like don’t sit down or don’t have a conversation with them, but it’s different. For example, if your kid can’t read, you know, I have a new reader, she’s five, and it’s a big win when she can read a whole sentence or read a little paragraph. But it doesn’t always make sense to her. Yet she’s still learning how to read words. We can still plant seeds. So for someone that age, you want to say in the Bible, god says this and leave it at that. You can make it really simple. That’s a good way to plant seeds of truth.
0:02:41 – Speaker 2
Well, like I, going from an older kid perspective, you know you always kind of talk about talking to younger kids from an older kid’s perspective. You know, I think about the sexuality question that we get a lot and is this okay? Is? Is bisexuality okay? Is this okay? Is you know all of this stuff that we’re getting? And I know as a young, as with young kids, you may say well, the Bible says that marriages treat a man and a woman, but we are to love everyone. You know we are to be kind to everyone, we are to model Jesus’s love for everyone, something like that, like seeds, like what you’re saying Right.
0:03:18 – Speaker 1
Give them a truth that they can hold on to. That’s easy and simple.
0:03:21 – Speaker 2
That is truth. And then how to love people that may be different from that or may not follow that or may not believe that. For older kids, though, I think oftentimes, when they come home with that sexuality question, I think oftentimes not always, but, but sometimes what happens is we, we go into a lecture, we go into. Well, this is why it’s bad and this is why da, da, da, da da. And we all know that lectures when somebody is lecturing you, you tune them out. It creates walls in a relationship.
And so what I have learned with older kids is often yes, if the Holy Spirit is telling me to speak little nuggets of truth, do it absolutely right, follow that discernment. But a lot of times what happens is I will say things like well, I don’t get to tell people how to live their lives, but there is one who does, and so you know. Maybe you can go look up first Corinthians 7, 2, and 3, and you tell me what God says about this. So that way I’m pointing my kids to Jesus. I’m not pointing my kids to my opinions, because sometimes I don’t get it right. Right, or my opinions come out as harsh or judgmental, when God, you know, has a way of saying this is right and this is wrong, but I love you. He has that special way of doing that in the Bible that we see over and over again, and it’s a living word.
0:04:45 – Speaker 1
So when your child goes and reads it versus you just a spoon feeding it to them God’s gonna speak to their heart in a way that it makes sense and it Reminds them and models for them. What if you started when they are young? God says that we’re teaching them to seek scripture and then, when they can read, that you’re physically pointing them to scripture. And then, when they leave the house or when they’re on their own, they know where to go.
0:05:09 – Speaker 2
When you’re not there, that’s where you look for truth, you go to God’s word and you know it could be anything it could be. Is it okay to lie, mom? Is it okay to cheat? Is it okay to commit adultery? All of those things? Yeah, well, let’s go to the word of God, like, set up that practice in your home where they see you trying to seek out what’s right from the Bible, because they’ll model that. Yeah, and the other thing that I have found Once you are pressing your kids into that and they’re seeking if they can read, you know, in their old enough, if they’re seeking out what God says in his word, then what really happens is they come back to you and you can give more of your opinion, because they’re in this space when they may say oh, mom, I see where you’re coming from on this.
Now, I mean, that’s where you get it from, because God says that and that’s why you have that opinion. Mm-hmm, and that helps it. Bring it all together where then you can speak more of your opinion. You know you can see something trending on Twitter and be like okay, that’s not okay, right because of this, this and this, and they understand where you’re coming from and they know that I’m basing my opinion off of that scripture that we just read, or that they just read.
You know what I mean. So I think that helps Create more conversation, instead of just lecturing and then them saying my parents don’t understand my culture. Well, that’s what happens a lot when we lecture to you. I mean, they don’t get it. I think not only that, to you, we don’t.
0:06:28 – Speaker 1
if we just go Default to the lecture, we stunt their ability to form their own opinions based on truth.
0:06:35 – Speaker 2
That’s good, kim, that is a word. Well, thank you.
0:06:40 – Speaker 1
So it’s just one of those things like we want I’m so guilty of this. I mean, my background, my degree is in communications like this is what we do. We tell our opinion, even when it’s ridiculous. So I mean I want to just tell my kids, like this is what I believe, do this, do not do this, and we are done. I will spare you the hard knocks, but that is just not how it works. I’m not sparing them from anything. I am robbing them of the opportunity to seek God’s truth for their life and to form their opinions based on that, and I certainly do not want to do that. So that’s kind of where I go back to when I feel compelled to launch into the lecture. Like wait a minute, I don’t want to steal them of this moment, and so it kind of helps me to be honest with you.
0:07:18 – Speaker 2
So, as you’re navigating through this space, if you’re like me, then there’s this struggle of well, how much of my opinion do I share? Yes, you know, because I don’t want to. You don’t want to just step out completely. Yes, yeah, I don’t want to step out completely and it’s, it really is guided by the Holy Spirit. But I love what you shed, the light that you shed on this, and you said Plant your opinions in your kids, in like a proverb, like way. And you reminded me that’s what Jesus did, like he, he told us in proverb, like ways or in parables he taught us and we need to take that example.
0:07:53 – Speaker 1
I do want to say when, when we talk about giving your opinion, yeah, if your kid asks you directly, you want to answer them. If they say, mom, I really want to know how you feel about this, don’t say, well, I’m not going to give you my opinion. Share your opinion, but explain the why behind it, again, in a proverb-like way. It doesn’t have to be this long lecture, just explain. You know, as I was reading scripture, this is what God showed me and I’m wondering if you would see that when you go read that scripture, there’s a lot of ways to point them back and still give your opinion.
0:08:24 – Speaker 2
Well, and one of the questions I get a lot is why would God make that rule? Like? Why would that be a restriction? I don’t get that and you know I always go back to Isaiah 55-8. God’s ways are not our ways. We don’t understand, but I always do know that God has your best interests at heart and for my kids, like I’ll use the example of you remember when you wanted Snapchat in third grade and I said no, it’s not because I hate you and I wanted to make your life miserable, it’s because I love you and I wanted to protect you from the content on Snapchat.
You weren’t ready for that, yet your brain wasn’t ready for that, and so when I give them an example like that, then they see God in a way that is the right way, in that he loves us so much that he does give us restrictions because he’s trying to protect us and he’s trying to keep us safe.
0:09:11 – Speaker 1
I love that and I think I would add to that for my little people. They really like to have an answer. You know little people, they want a solution and so oftentimes, when there isn’t one or I don’t have the final answer, I’ll say you know, I really don’t know. But let’s pray that God will give us special insight or give us peace in the waiting.
0:09:30 – Speaker 2
So I think this is an extremely important conversation right now. I’m so glad that you said this. It’s okay to say I don’t know. We don’t know it all. God knows it all. And I think so many times we are pressed into a space of well, I have to know the answer to this, to answer my kids, and it’s okay to be like I don’t know. And I love that you say let’s pray for God to give us special eyes to see this. Let’s pray that God points us to a scripture or a story in the Bible that will shed some light on this for us, Because it’s again pointing them back to the source of all the answers.
0:10:04 – Speaker 3
Like I don’t know.
0:10:05 – Speaker 2
So let’s pray about it, let’s ask God to show us, yes, healthy conversation, once you’re able to develop this in your home and you are pointing your kids to scripture and you’re wanting them to read it on their own if they’re old enough. But from that comes all this conversation and really this is where you can make the Bible come alive for your kids, and I’ve seen that so much in just the everyday conversations of things is this right, is this wrong? And how we can use that to instill truth in our kids.
0:10:35 – Speaker 1
Well, and you know we were talking about sharing God’s truth in a proverb-like way. I think that comes much more easy, or easier, than trying to sit down and have these long theological discussions with your kids. It’s just not effective most of the time, or with most kids, I will say. There are probably a few that would love that.
0:10:53 – Speaker 2
Well, sometimes you can get them in a moment where they want to talk for hours, yes, you know, and maybe in the middle of the night for teenagers, yes, but oftentimes we’re on the go, you know we’re busy, and so… Plant those seeds. Plant those little proverbs-like ways, is what you’re saying is good?
0:11:09 – Speaker 1
Let me give you an example. My mom used to say this all the time does this person bring you closer to God or cause you to stray? And you actually had this revelation just the other day I did. It was crazy.
0:11:18 – Speaker 2
I said that to my daughter and no one had really ever said that to me growing up. And I said it to my daughter and I texted it to you and you were like my mom used to say that all the time, yes, and I was like that is good, well, and that’s all she would say, and that’s a simple way to instill truth in your kids.
0:11:36 – Speaker 1
And so I have like diarrhea of the mouth. That’s a proverb, it is a proverb.
0:11:39 – Speaker 2
It says you hang out with fools, they’re going to destroy you. You hang out with the wise, you become wise. That’s a proverb. It is a proverb and that in your paraphrasing it for your kids in a way, in giving it accessible yeah, absolutely, and memorable for them.
0:11:52 – Speaker 1
I used to say things like that, but then I felt the need to follow it up with. Here’s why. But then I went back to what my mom would do. She would just say that and leave it. It was like let me place this gift at your feet.
0:12:02 – Speaker 2
Little nuggets.
0:12:03 – Speaker 1
Yes, I’m going to give you this nugget to hold in your pocket for when you need it. And she didn’t launch into a lecture and she didn’t continue like didn’t explain all the things, and I remember at the time I’d be like mom, you would roll your eyes, you would roll your eyes, you would roll your eyes. Yes, she said it so much.
0:12:16 – Speaker 2
But here we are, so much.
0:12:18 – Speaker 1
It’s stuck.
0:12:18 – Speaker 2
Here we are, 50 years later.
0:12:20 – Speaker 1
I’m just joking. Nicely done, nicely done.
0:12:25 – Speaker 2
I was going to see if you were awake and caught that oh yeah, girl, you used my own strategy. But here we are and you’re teaching that to your kids. I’m teaching it to my kids.
0:12:32 – Speaker 1
Yes, and I remember in college, like all those years of her saying it, and in that moment in college I remember mulling that phrase over in my head when I was with a new friend or I was in a dating relationship and I’d be like, oh my gosh, my mom was right.
0:12:45 – Speaker 2
I would be thinking that like, oh, I was going to say when you were deciding whether to marry Charles or not. I’m sure that ran through your head. I actually said it out loud.
0:12:52 – Speaker 1
Yeah, we were like we were in a moment and he was like okay, but it caused great conversation about what we wanted our lives to look like moving forward.
0:13:02 – Speaker 2
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0:13:32 – Speaker 3
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0:14:03 – Speaker 1
Today we’re talking about instilling truth in our kids, and a big point that we’re making here is that you can instill little nuggets of truth based on God’s word, because when we say truth that’s what we mean biblical, sound truth. You can instill little nuggets, kind of like proverbs, that stick with your kid and help them to navigate in their own world and form their own opinions based on truth.
0:14:26 – Speaker 2
I think this is super important to know the Bible and be able to bring it alive for your kids. One of the times I remember having a conversation and my kids were using language like we have to be kind to everyone, we shouldn’t bully, we shouldn’t and they’re talking about this super awesome message. They had gotten at school and I looked at them and I said you know, that’s biblical right, that came from Jesus. And they’re like what? This is this campaign at school and there’s all kinds of pretty pictures on this one. And then like no, that came straight from Scripture, it’s the golden rule and it’s found in Matthew 712 and Luke 631. And this is what the Scripture says treat each other how you want to be treated. And when I said that they were like that originated with Jesus, that was just this moment, because, as little kids, they hear these worldly messages that they often are like where’d this come from? That’s a worldly message. It’s a good message, because it originated with Jesus.
0:15:26 – Speaker 1
And imagine what a spark you light when your kid says, oh, I heard this cool thing, and you’re able to say, hey, by the way, that’s from Jesus, that’s biblical. That lights a spark in them like, hey, jesus is good, jesus is cool. All the things I’m feeling about this message came from Jesus.
0:15:41 – Speaker 2
I want to pursue this more, I want to get to know him more, and so that’s how we push them into a relationship. I remember way back when when my kids were talking about Egypt and the Nile River in school and I said do you remember the story about the little boy placed in the basket, moses? That’s the Nile River. And they’re like what? Just that little revelation that the Nile River, the thing you learned about in Sunday school all the time, and Moses being placed in the basket to being saved from Pharaoh’s orders, you know just that little like oh, the Nile is a real place that we can go to Bring that alive for your kids. That teaches them that it’s real and truth and I mean God is. I mean Jesus walked this earth. It’s pretty incredible we talk a lot about. My dream trip is going to Israel. I’m going to go where Jesus walked.
0:16:34 – Speaker 3
I’m going to walk where he walked. It’s my dream, I want to go first.
0:16:37 – Speaker 2
I want to go first all the time, like the places we would go, because it brings the Bible alive for your kids. These aren’t just some historical things that we’re reading about in the Bible. It’s a real place to get there.
0:16:48 – Speaker 1
So if we can bridge that gap, how cool is that? Absolutely, you know. Another thing is point out when your kids follow God’s truth on their own. So here we are, we’re pointing them to scripture, we are planting these little truths, you know. We’re like okay, you know, treat others, you know, or does this person bring you closer to Jesus? We’re saying all these things, but are they really taking hold? Yes, the answer is yes, it’s important, but when you see it, you can encourage it by telling them wow, did you hear what you just said? Or that’s amazing, how you just supported that kid or did this thing. I mean, I had this moment recently and it was so cool. I will never forget this.
My kid wanted to have this play date with this other kiddo and a sweet family and we would make plans and then something would come up and they would have to cancel and my son, in his age and understanding, was just frustrated and super disappointed and he was just going straight to a place of anger. And I wanted to, because I knew a little bit more than he did. I wanted to launch into, like you never know, what’s going on with them and here’s what’s happening and we need to love them and see them through. You know all the things I wanted to launch into that lecture, but instead I just leaned over to him and I was like hey, baby, you know, struggles are often secret. And he’s like what do you mean by that? I said we just don’t know what their family is going through. Let’s just commit to love and pray for them, and that’s it. That’s all I said. I left it at that. You know, I don’t know if he heard it or not, but I left it. But you dropped it.
0:18:14 – Speaker 2
I dropped it on his lap to kind of you’re kind of wanting to press your kids into a thought process. Yes, that’s what you’re wanting to do. Think beyond where you’re at right now.
0:18:23 – Speaker 1
Put yourself in their shoes and then, like it was like a month later, we were with a group of kids and this kid was also invited and they didn’t show up, and some of the other kids were just like they always cancel. They were just saying some things out of frustration.
They were saying negative things. They were just again frustrated and didn’t understand. And I was an earshot. I was sitting in another room but I heard my son say maybe their family is going through something rough right now and they just don’t want to talk about it. Maybe we should just pray for him, maybe we should just love our friend. And I wanted to run in the room and like give my kid a high five and do like a weird win booty dance that you’ve got to celebrate.
I wanted to do that but that would have ruined it for him. Yeah, no, jthis is who you are about to be with in that moment.
0:19:05 – Speaker 2
I was just like I’m never speaking.
0:19:06 – Speaker 1
Yeah, I’m never speaking truth, I’m never talking to my mom, she is embarrassing. Instead, in that moment I was like thank you, jesus. You know I was doing the clap. I was like yes. And then later, when it was just him and I circled back and I was like I’m so proud of you. Not only did you give grace and love for your friend, but look at the model you, you, you gave to your friends that you were with. Like you have no idea how much that will impact them or others.
0:19:31 – Speaker 2
So this is I’m so glad they are hearing it, whether you’re reading scripture, whether you’re doing proverb like ways, whether you’re planting seeds, whether you’re giving your opinion, they are hearing you more than you think. I’ve heard my kids repeat things that I’ve said to them little things and it also makes me very cautious about what I say to them, because they repeat it all. Right, it’s the good and the bad, it’s the good and the bad.
So I have to like check myself and constantly think, okay, is this scriptural? Is this the right thing that I’m teaching my kids, because I they’re going to go and tell the other people and I want it to always point to Jesus. Which brings us to our kind of our. Last segment, but it is really the most important segment of this whole show is we can’t teach the Bible in proverb like ways, we can’t teach scripture if we’re not in there digging for Jesus ourselves, exactly Like we’re not going to have that wisdom. And I you know I get a lot of times I will get questions like I need a script to follow for this conversation.
0:20:39 – Speaker 1
Yes, what do I say?
0:20:40 – Speaker 2
And I’m always like listen, I mean I can give you examples of how this went down in my home and what we had to talk about, and I can, I’m more, I love to share those examples, you know, with my kids permissions but your kids may ask different questions and they may want different information than what I’m, what I had to share. So you’ve got to have a guide. And the Bible says when we become a believer, when we believe in Jesus, the Holy Spirit meaning Jesus himself, the three and one, the God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the Holy Spirit comes to live in our heart and he becomes our counselor. He becomes the one that can help us discern things. He’s the one that fills us with wisdom and this is straight out of Scripture. When we see in Proverbs about about what wisdom is.
0:21:30 – Speaker 1
Yeah, yeah for attaining wisdom and discipline, for understanding words of insight, for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right and just and fair. For giving knowledge to the young. Let the wise listen and add to their learning and let the discerning get guidance for understanding proverbs and parables, the sayings and riddles of the wise that is the opening chapter that is the opening chapter of the book of Proverbs.
0:21:55 – Speaker 2
Right there and it is saying this book is going to give you wisdom. Yes, one thing that I had a pastor do years ago. He said there’s thirty one proverbs. Read a proverbs a day.
0:22:07 – Speaker 1
today is a day where you could look at the day and Read so today is March 7th.
0:22:14 – Speaker 2
Go and read Proverbs seven. Yeah, that is what you do. You follow that guide. Yeah, I’ve done this over and over and over months at a time, and I will tell you every time I read it, I get something else out of.
0:22:25 – Speaker 1
It is the living word yes, yes, and it’s so good.
0:22:28 – Speaker 2
but listen, we are not going to be able to teach our kids to seek and run after Jesus if we’re not seeking and running after Jesus like this is the foundation of it. Yeah, this is the foundation of being able to instill truth in your kids.
0:22:40 – Speaker 1
And let’s you know, put aside the Instagram, jesus, it doesn’t have to be thirty minutes in the morning with your lot and the fresh flower and the fire going in your fuzzy PJs don’t look like you’re homeless, I, you know I.
I look homeless in my PJs. There is no fire. It doesn’t always happen in the morning. Sometimes it is one minute in the car after I drop off the kids at night, after dinner it sometimes in the morning. Being in tune with Jesus just looks like what we talk about here at nextTalk. It’s whenever you can. It’s an ongoing relationship where you’re talking to him at all times and digging into the word as much as you can.
0:23:20 – Speaker 2
You know what? I switch something at the beginning of this year. You did. You know the world always says get out thirty minutes of your first day, share with Jesus. I’m not a morning person, so so I would get up. You get my text first thing and I can. Like thirty minutes, like you, are the best.
I don’t know what you mean, yeah, jesus has to do a work right, but I, the world, tells you, your first thirty minutes has to be shared with Jesus, and I was getting up and reading scripture and I was not making any sense to me, and so I swapped it, and so now I read it right before bedtime. Yeah, I want to read longer and I’m sleeping better because for so I’m going to, I’m going to bed with all this truth and I’m not just all of what I had.
Just love that except when I’m in Leviticus. That’s a little bit.
0:24:13 – Speaker 1
Don’t do like that.
0:24:14 – Speaker 2
Maybe morning start drinking coffee you know what I mean like just do what works for you. You need to learn to seek God’s wisdom on this journey.
0:24:22 – Speaker 1
And make it accessible for your kids. You know, that’s the cool thing. I, one example, god will show you scripture that you can share with your kids in a way that makes sense for them when they’re young, like Proverbs twenty seven, nineteen, that’s. Water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart. Oh, that’s good one. I just tell my kids, look at the fruit, and what do you mean by that? And I’m like with your friends, you know, are they getting in trouble? Are they saying things are unkind? Are they helpful to their friends? Look at the fruit of their life and that will tell you is someone to align with or not?
0:24:53 – Speaker 2
As a parent of an older kid, you’re not going to know the family. Yes, they’re hanging out with the friends, change really fast and so we just had a conversation in that. Well, let’s look at the fruit of the family. Yes, you think this person is a good influence, you know, because my husband’s like I don’t know if I want my kid.
0:25:07 – Speaker 1
I don’t know this family, and that’s an easy one to remember. When they’re older, they’re in a situation and they’re questioning. They’re like, oh yeah, look at the fruit, it’s a lot easier.
0:25:17 – Speaker 2
So, to summarize the show healthy conversations, make God’s truth relevant. Make the Bible come alive for your kids. Point out when your kids follow God’s truth and make it their own, celebrate that it’s a win and always, at the foundation of everything, seek God for wisdom.
0:25:54 – Speaker 3
Are you ready for the next time?
Transcribed by https://podium.page
