0:00:02 – Speaker 1
Welcome to the nextTalk podcast, where we share real stories and practical advice for parenting the digital world.
0:00:09 – Speaker 2
We’re your hosts, Mandy and Kim. Mandy is an award-winning author and the founder of nextTalk, and I’m the director of nextTalk, a nonprofit organization created to strengthen families through open communication. You can check out all of our resources at nextTalk.org.
0:00:24 – Speaker 1
We’re your wives, moms and friends, tackling culturally relevant topics from a Christian perspective. We’re sharing what we’ve learned and where we’ve failed. We’re so glad you’re here for this conversation.
0:00:37 – Speaker 2
So we got this question several months ago from a mom and we asked her if we could use it on the show. So here we are with this real thing we’re seeing circulating on social media. A case was actually being made that Jesus was trans. That’s even hard for me to say, girl. It’s like blasphemous, right It is.
0:01:03 – Speaker 1
Okay, so this is. I’m sweating. This is the first thing I want to say about this. Sometimes our gut reaction is like this is nonsense, what? That’s our old Mandy gut response. Right, but what I loved about this was when this mom contacted me. She was like I wanted to roll my eyes and scream but I knew I couldn’t. So I was like, okay, let’s think about this. And I loved her reaction because it was a NextTalk reaction. She had all these feelings inside about what her kid was asking and she wanted to go crazy in parent mode, which is what we always refer to it as right. But she knew that wouldn’t be healthy. She knew that would shut down conversation, and so she took a deep breath and was like, okay, all right, let’s talk about this.
0:02:01 – Speaker 2
Tell me more.
0:02:03 – Speaker 1
Well, and I won’t tell you too, as your kids get older, they call it gaslighting, which is not really the proper use of the term. Gaslighting. That’s a whole other show. It’s more about they want to. They’re trying to shock you. That’s what it is. It’s like a shock value thing, especially as your kids get older and they’re exposed to more and they think you don’t know what’s going on, And so they’ll say these things just to see if they can get a reaction out of you.
0:02:32 – Speaker 2
Well, that is another good reason why we talk about you should know your kid’s world and their culture, like what’s happening, at least be in step with them or step ahead so that you can be like oh yeah, i heard about that, did you know about this? That just shuts things down, that whole shocking thing, and you can get into really great conversation, which is really kind of where we’re going here with this question we got from the mom.
0:02:56 – Speaker 1
Well and honestly. If your kid does come home and ask this and you respond badly, the world is telling them that that’s a transphobic response And so then you lose so much credibility. I know that’s kind of unhealthy that the world jumps to oh, you’re phobic if you have a question or you’re like what, but that’s the world we live in And so we need to acknowledge that and watch our response. If our kids think we’re transphobic or homophobic, we’ve shut everything down. They’re never going to listen to us about anything.
0:03:25 – Speaker 2
Well, and I always want to bring this voice into this conversation and validate that kind of like. The mom On the inside you may be thinking all of these things You know Mandy was saying you may be rolling your eyes on the inside. The key is we don’t get to speak into these things. We don’t get to share our opinion or get into really good discussions with our kids if we shut it down by freaking out or if they think we’re transphobic. So it’s kind of like reversing your thinking, like OK, if I’m calm now, i get to be a part of the conversation later.
0:03:57 – Speaker 1
Yeah, i mean, use this as an opportunity to dig in with your kid, create critical thinking skills, dig into scripture and develop their faith a little. I mean this can be used for so much good. So that’s what I did. So that’s what I did in my family. I went to my own kids and said, hey, i had this question come in at nextTalk. What are your thoughts about it? First of all, my child was not surprised at all. In fact, this is a common idea on social media that was circulating, and so for me I felt like it was so out there. But, oh my God, she was like yeah, that’s a thought process. We’re all girl, we are all we are, we are out of touch.
0:04:38 – Speaker 2
She’s just like oh yeah, yeah, you know, jesus trans.
0:04:41 – Speaker 1
Nothing ruffles. Nothing ruffles their feathers. I mean honestly, they’ve been exposed to so much.
0:04:46 – Speaker 2
It’s true. Yeah, it’s true. Sad, but true.
0:04:50 – Speaker 1
So it opened up so much discussion because we were digging in our Bibles and really figuring out some things. It was a great moment to take a shocking question for me and use it for good.
0:05:01 – Speaker 2
So, as we’re talking to this mom and kind of trying to figure out what her kids on social media, one of the things that was circulating was that, since Jesus was born at the Virgin Mary, he didn’t have a Y chromosome and therefore was a transgendered man.
0:05:16 – Speaker 1
OK. So when I heard this argument, i was like, hmm, these kids are smart, so part of that is correct Jesus was born of a virgin. So let’s dig, though, deeper into that thought process, because I think that’s the thing that we need to teach our kids. We can’t just accept this blanket statement here. Let’s dig into this a little bit more, ok? so first of all, yes, you know, i can’t find anywhere in scripture that I’m aware of that says Jesus didn’t have a Y chromosome, so it doesn’t really address that right. It doesn’t really address the genetic makeup of Jesus, other than to say he was born of the Virgin Mary and the Holy Spirit came upon Mary to create Jesus. That’s all we know, right? However, what can we glean from scripture And this was a conversation that I had with my own kids.
Let’s dive in here and see what the Bible says about that. First thing I said to my kids was well, over and over again in scripture, we see that Jesus is referred to a son, as a boy, and so we Googled some scriptures that kind of validated that right. So you see, isaiah seven, 14, the Virgin will conceive and give birth to a son and will call him. So he’s using he him pronouns Emmanuel, emmanuel, right. So his biological sex matches the pronouns that he’s using, so he assists. And I say all that, go see our pronoun show. If you don’t know what any of that means, you need to go listen to our program show My gosh.
0:06:53 – Speaker 2
So in There’s just no words sometimes to the topics we just discuss.
0:07:01 – Speaker 1
No doubt, maybe there’s too many words. No doubt, we say it on our website We have to.
0:07:05 – Speaker 2
It’s true, my goodness. All right, so another one that you said that you guys looked up I was. I was reading through Luke one 29 through 35. When the angel appeared to Mary, the angel said do not be afraid, you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son And you are to call him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the son of the most high. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever. His kingdom will never end.
0:07:39 – Speaker 1
And then that scripture goes on and Mary says but but how will this be to the angel? I am a virgin, like Mary. Mary, this teenage girl, is like what, what, what’s going to happen here? And so the angel answered And this is all in scripture. The Holy spirit will come on you and the power of the most high will overshadow you, so the Holy one to be born will be called the son of God. I mean so.
I loved how, when you were reading through that verse, kim, and sharing it with us, you were highlighting the he’s and hymns and sons. And so scripture is consistent. We have Jesus, who is a male and it wasn’t even a thing in his culture to identify or not identify, but it matched up. He was a hymn, he was a he, He continually used that. And there’s so many verses, so many in scripture that you can go to and point this out to your kids. I mean the famous John 3.16, we all know that one right For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. So we see this over and over again. That scripture says it’s a he, it’s a son, it’s a boy.
0:09:01 – Speaker 2
I’m just going to throw something in here right now, because you may be thinking like this is absolutely ridiculous.
0:09:07 – Speaker 1
That’s what I want to say. That’s thinking of sighting girl. I’m telling you because these kids have questions and we got to answer them.
0:09:14 – Speaker 2
No, no, no. Here’s what I want to say to that. It does feel ridiculous, but just like anything with our kids when they’re asking questions, if we dismiss them, whether it’s something very small and insignificant to big spiritual quests that they’re on to find answers, if we dig in seriously and take their concerns, one at a time, and actually pay attention to them and honor them, then they’ll be like okay, nothing really is off limits with mom and dad. They’re not dismissing me, They’re not making me feel silly, because inside, quite frankly, I would be like this is absolutely ridiculous. Of course I know that Jesus is a hymn, but if I address my kid that way and we don’t walk through these steps and dig in and find truth through scripture, then they’re going to feel like I’m dismissing them and that I’m saying that they’re silly. This is a really important step.
0:10:10 – Speaker 1
Listen we are raising a generation where you can’t just say this is what the Bible says, this is how it is. They are a dig in and research type of generation. They want facts, they want to see it for themselves. You have got to walk them through this process. I will tell you as I was walking it through with my own kids. When we got into, i was saying all these scriptures about something in my mind. I’m like I can’t even believe I have to do this. I had to control those thoughts. But let me tell you something Once I dug into the conversation, i found something that was really cool to hear about my kids. That’s what I really want to share, because, yeah, all these little things that we think, oh, we shouldn’t have to say this, listen to where the conversation ended up, because I think this is really really important for our listeners. Kim, we were talking about this fact, about son boy, and we even talked about God being referenced as the father Abba, which means father, that kind of thing.
We went into a deeper dive. My kids said something that I thought was just so profound and it led us through so many more conversations. That’s what we’re looking for here. It started out like surface level. I can’t even believe I have to say this. But it went deeper. Let me tell you what she said. She said, mom, i believe God transcends gender. I just kind of sat there for a minute because God is bigger than my gender, like my identity is in. God is so much more important than me as a woman, or me as a female. Wow, i would have missed that. So then we got to dig in to talking about how gender can become an idol And we can put that above, like just being a child of God. I would have missed all of those really cool deep theological conversations had I dismissed it and said this is crazy, like why do I even have to approach this?
0:12:11 – Speaker 2
Well, that’s incredible And it makes me think of two things.
One is we’ve talked about this before the process of teaching your kids how to dig in and then filter through scripture to find truth.
And you said earlier, when we were reading those scriptures, that we have to teach them how to do this because in our generation, i mean, we’d have to like go to the library and find an encyclopedia. Now our kids have everything, all the access to the world, in their back pocket And if we don’t teach them where to look, how to look and then guide them back to God’s truth, then it’s just all out chaos. So that’s one beautiful thing that you taught your kids through this. And two, because you created conversation around this topic and you didn’t make it taboo because you were uncomfortable with it or because you didn’t believe in it or you had already decided something, but you let it be a conversation. It’s incredible, the place that you went with her and the realization that she had. That’s that deep spiritual foundation that we want our kids to build on their own before they leave your house. Those questions and those conversations and that deep dive is where they come into their own faith. So they’re not on our coattails.
0:13:26 – Speaker 1
Well, and we even got to dive a little bit deeper. We discovered that Adam, the first human being, created. His name can also be a designation, meaning humankind. And then we got to dive into Genesis 127 and it says God created human beings in his own image. In an image of God, he created them, male and female. He created them. If you look at the order there, we are human beings first, Then it’s gender, and so she’s right. We often make gender our idol. We put it above the fact that we’re God’s humankind that he created.
And I mean she taught me a couple of things through this. And again, let me tell you she didn’t come home and ask me this. This was a question I got from another mom. So I’m challenging you parents. If you got kids on social media, say, hey, i heard this question today from this mom. Use this and see where the conversation can take. You See what you and your kids can dig into. This is what I mean by teaching them to think critically.
They hear sound bites on social media. They hear these little snippets of TikTok videos with theology sprinkled in that’s incorrect And they pick it up and they think it’s truth, and so the more that they bring that to us and then we’re able, even though if we wanna roll our eyes and be like, are you even kidding me right now that I have to answer this, like that’s what most Christian parents are thinking, i have to answer this, i have to defend this, but we do. And I think it’s kind of healthy because it also as I have dug into the word with my own kids to try and answer their questions and figure this out. It’s strengthened my faith and my beliefs and reassured me God’s not gonna leave me down the wrong path.
I mean, he’s the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He’s got the answers. He knows everything. He’s got it figured out. His ways are not our ways. Sometimes he thinks way differently than we do. And would you want a savior who you could figure out? Like we don’t wanna. God is God. I mean that’s pretty cool to be able to explore that with your kids and take them on this journey.
0:15:36 – Speaker 2
In that same vein, mandy, one of the things I’m gonna start selling my kids. I just heard it the other morning. A pastor was saying on a podcast it’s pretty ridiculous to think that God can’t handle our hard questions. And I love that because it’s so, so true. It’s okay to ask God hard questions. I promise you he’s got the answer.
0:15:56 – Speaker 1
Yeah, we also talked about how men and women are created different, but that doesn’t mean unequal, it means different, and our world gets that all upside down too. You know, and we talked about, for example, women can bear children Like what a great responsibility and gift to be given. It doesn’t make them better than men, but it makes them different And we should embrace that. I think it’s something to be celebrated. The differences One other thing that we talked about, too is, you know, genesis 2.24, that famous verse is a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh, right. So we talked about, too, how God created these two different humans. But he created them to go uniquely together for procreation and for marriage. And so here I am having this weird question. Come in and look where it’s taken me Now. I get to talk about idols, i get to talk about marriage, i get to talk about differences between men and women and how that’s awesome.
0:17:04 – Speaker 2
I get to talk about all these things with my kids that I would have missed had I rolled and been like that’s so stupid, what this reminds me of is let’s just not miss these great conversations because we’re afraid of hard questions, Like it is never worth it if it helps us guide and lead our kids into great conversation.
0:17:26 – Speaker 1
And you never know where God’s going to take this Like you start out with this question that you’re like what? And it evolved into something amazing and like a very weird to wonderful. Weird to wonderful, you like that I like it.
Put it on a shirt, slap it on a sticker. So take away from today. Don’t avoid even the questions that you think are silly. Let God guide you, dig in and see what happens. Thank you so much for joining us, listening and sharing our podcast. Because of you, this show is in the top 5% of over 2.9 million podcasts.
0:18:04 – Speaker 2
We have lots of resources for you, from counseling to live events. Or if you have a show idea or a question for our team, visit our website at nextTalk.org. We’d love to hear from you.
0:18:15 – Speaker 1
At nextTalk. We’re more than cyber parenting. It’s conversations to connect.
0:18:20 – Speaker 2
This podcast is not intended to replace the advice of a trained healthcare or legal professional, or to diagnose, treat or otherwise render expert advice regarding any type of medical, psychological or legal problem. Listeners are advised to consult a qualified expert for treatment.
Transcribed by https://podium.page