0:00:03 – Speaker 1
Hey, this is Mandy and Kim with nextTalk, where we are passionate about keeping kids safe in the digital world.
0:00:09 – Speaker 2
Did you know? We have tens of thousands of listeners in 60 countries. It’s truly amazing, Crazy only God. And, as a non-profit, everything we do at nextTalk is supported by people just like you.
0:00:21 – Speaker 1
Be a part of changing the culture of conversation in your home and around the globe by making a donation today.
0:00:28 – Speaker 2
Go to nextTalk.org and click on Give and check out our resources while you’re there.
0:00:32 – Speaker 1
More than cyber parenting conversations to connect.
0:00:38 – Speaker 2
So you guys know we have that trademark saying around here at nextTalk default to love. I mean, we have it on our shirts, it’s in Mandy’s book. It’s just one of those things that we say all the time.
0:00:48 – Speaker 1
Yeah, and you know, typically when we say that phrase we are talking about loving your kids and spouse, even when they mess up or disappoint, or responding with love when your kid comes home and says my friend is so-and-so or whatever, and you don’t blow up at them. We’re always saying default to love, don’t go into preach or lecture mode, and that’s kind of what we mean when we use that phrase. But we’ve been thinking for a while about a show that we wanted to do. That’s a little difference about loving your neighbor. What better time? Tomorrow is the US election for president, and I think it’s never been more important than talk about really loving the people in our community.
0:01:29 – Speaker 2
Well, especially because when we talk about default to love and we’re talking about your best buddy, your mom, your husband, your kids, that’s one thing. But you can dismiss your neighbor, you can ignore them, you can hide in the bushes when they walk by Not that I’ve ever done that, but it’s hard to hide.
0:01:47 – Speaker 1
It’s hard to ignore your 16-year-old kid who’s coming, who lives under your roof.
0:01:52 – Speaker 2
Yeah, it’s a little bit more difficult, so we wanted to talk about that. Yes, because of the presidential election, that just kind of puts a magnifying glass on it, because this is a great time to practice loving your neighbor and defaulting to love.
0:02:04 – Speaker 1
Well, you know I think about loving my neighbor and you know I go on neighborhood runs and everybody has their political candidate sign out Not everybody, but there’s definitely. You know how some people are voting right. Yes, and I know, as I’m running down the street, I’m constantly, just like I always like pray for the people behind those closed doors, because some of them I know and some of them I don’t, and I’m always praying that it’s a healthy home and that there’s lots of dialogue going on. You know, as I’m running and I’m seeing, you know I’m realizing, oh my gosh, there’s lots of opinion in my neighborhood. I started kind of shifting and thinking, praying for each of them, like not trying to change their opinions, but that they would actually love each other, like that they could get along, that we could find what makes a similar and not different.
0:02:49 – Speaker 2
Yes, so why don’t we define neighbor for you? You know how we like definition around here. Yes, we can talk about actual neighbors, like you know the person next door, but honestly, we want to talk today about people in general. You know, when you say neighbor, it can be your coworker, other parents, people you come into contact with every day. Neighbor is just another specific way of saying the people that are all around you.
0:03:14 – Speaker 1
I mean, it’s your community. You know, driving down the road, the person that you’re cutting off in traffic is your neighbor. Are you loving them well, Hmm?
0:03:26 – Speaker 2
So how do we do that? It is easier said than done, I think. Maybe one of the first things is recognize that your neighbor is flawed, but so are you. I know that stings a little bit, but come on, we have to be honest about it.
0:03:39 – Speaker 1
This is from a Bob Goff quote and it’s so good. This is what Bob says Love difficult people. You’re one of them.
0:03:47 – Speaker 2
Yeah, it’s one of my favorite all-time quotes.
0:03:50 – Speaker 1
He literally just simplifies these things for us, and it’s so true. You know, we may look at someone and say, oh my gosh, how can they not see this? But in their mind they’re looking at us Like how could they believe that way? Or how could they even fathom that, you know. So we’re all difficult. We all have our stuff that we’re struggling with. Here’s what you need to know. People aren’t perfect and they are going to disappoint you.
0:04:19 – Speaker 2
Let’s just be real here for a minute and be honest about the fact that whoever gets elected, whoever it, is he is not perfect. Both candidates have flaws. We got to keep it into perspective. They are not our savior Jesus is. That is the bottom line.
0:04:36 – Speaker 1
That’ll preach right there, girl. Amen. And you know what? I don’t even know if we’re going to know who’s president tomorrow, because I feel like there’s going to be all these challenges and revotes and all the stuff, and then we’re going to be in this gray, muddled area where everybody’s fighting. Maybe I’m wrong, I hope I’m wrong, but we have to be prepared for that right. No matter what happens in this election, jesus is Lord. I know that sounds cliche, but it’s true.
0:05:00 – Speaker 2
It is true, and we can put our hope in him and know that he has the answers and everything is going to be okay, absolutely.
0:05:08 – Speaker 1
Number two love your neighbor, even when you disagree with them. This is a simple concept, but I feel like we need to talk about it. I’ve been doing this thing lately, especially during COVID Just a name will pop in my mind. Typically it’s when I’m running, because that’s when I’m praying, you know, trying to seek God, and it’s my quiet time, and God has been putting these people on my mind and a lot of them like I haven’t talked to in years, like I haven’t kept up with them. I don’t know that. You know I don’t have their email and phone number, but I’m like Facebook friends or whatever with them, and so I will just message them. And I don’t know if they have the same beliefs as me or not, I mean, I don’t really know all the time and I’ll message them and I’ll say, hey, for some reason, like you popped into my head today how are you? How are you doing? How are things going? And I can’t even tell you the kind of responses I’ve gotten.
Everyone is struggling, yeah, and it made me realize. You know, I’m seeing all this divisiveness on social media. Every time I log on, I feel like everybody is fighting with everyone. But then when I talk to people in real life. Even if we disagree, we’re nice to each other and it almost gives me hope. You know, turn off social media and talk to somebody in real life and that’ll give you a little bit of hope. Agree to disagree and still love each other Absolutely.
0:06:29 – Speaker 2
I love that idea on a couple of different levels, one being being obedient to what God puts on your heart. I think that helps us love our neighbor in a way that doesn’t really require much effort. God sometimes will put someone on your heart because he wants you to pray for them or he has a word that he wants you to give to them, and it’s real easy to dismiss that. It’s real easy to be like no, they don’t want to hear from me, or I haven’t talked to them forever or I don’t have anything to say. But I can promise you, if you follow through and just reach out, god’s going to use that space in between you to either bless them, encourage them or just give them a place to feel safe and share something that’s on their heart. And that’s a beautiful way to love your neighbor. That’s easy to do and doesn’t take much effort.
And I think too, coming from a place of empathy, it’s so easy for us to think about our circumstances and what we’re feeling and what we think. But a lot of times when I’m with someone or I interact with someone and their behavior seems way out in the field, or they say or do something that really bothers me, if I can just take a minute and think they don’t know where I’m coming from. They don’t know my life experiences and I don’t know theirs. They could have just had the worst day of their life. They could have just been told they have one week left before their job ends. They could have been told that their aunt or their sister has cancer. I don’t know what’s going on inside their heart and mind. And so if I can come from that place of empathy and think you know what, maybe they just need someone to be nice to them, even though they don’t deserve it. That’s another way to love our neighbor is to give grace.
0:07:59 – Speaker 1
I think that is such an important concept because I know for me a lot of times when I find someone yelling at people on social media and I’m like, oh my gosh, that’s a lot right there. But then I dig a little deeper and try to connect with that person or reach out or whatever, and then I get the backstory of what’s actually going on in their life or their past baggage to bring them to this point, then I’m like, oh, I understand why they’re like that a little bit. You know what I mean. Sure, it doesn’t excuse it. It doesn’t mean like, okay, well, you can be crazy or be mean or be a bully on online bully because of your past experience. That’s not what I’m saying, but it just gives you a little bit of empathy to understand them more. I think that’s a very good point. You know, one other thing that I’ve noticed being on Twitter is people taking polls of how many friends have you lost or have you lost a friend because of politics? Stop, yes, this is a real thing. There’s an option to be like just see the results, and I always click that because I want to see what people are responding with.
And a lot of people are saying, yes, I’ve ended a friendship over politics or whatever. I just want to remind you. You know I understand politics are heated and there’s so many social issues going on. I get that. But you disagree with these people on all different sorts of things, like school choice. I mean. Think about school choice homeschool, private school, public school. You don’t end friendships over somebody choosing a different type of school than you do. You know you don’t end friendships over. You know you may look at one of your friends and say we don’t spend our money that way or how we handle our finances is different than them, but you don’t end your friendship over them. You know you just agree to disagree Like this is how I do it, this is how you do it Absolutely, and so I think we have to put this in perspective. Is politics really as important that we’re going to end friendships and relationships?
0:10:00 – Speaker 2
over it? I would hope not, but I think that requires us looking at it a little differently, because some of the issues and the things that are brought out into the light because of politics are super important. Some of the topics that are discussed are very foundational, and so people might say, well, yeah, I’m willing to lose a friendship because it’s that important to me. But if you think about it differently, wouldn’t it make more sense to maintain your friendship, to be kind and respectful in what you disagree in, and be able to share your thoughts with someone that possibly may hear it from a new perspective and say you know what? I never thought of it that way. Maybe you’re right. I mean, the chances of you changing someone’s mind and just having a respectful relationship are better if you’re kind and you stay in the friendship than shunning someone and you definitely are pushing them away from your way of believing.
0:10:53 – Speaker 1
You know what I’m saying? Absolutely. You’re not going to be able to have a conversation and share why you believe the way you believe and why you’re so passionate about it if you’ve just ended the friendship over it, but there’s no way of sharing why you believe the way you believe, right? I mean, that’s really hard. So I think all of these things that we’re talking about, kim, is really important when we’re talking about love your neighbor, even when you disagree. But this third thing I think is really important to talk about as well when the people you disagree with are sad, hurting or disappointed, love even more. Oh, that’s hard, okay. So I really want to bring this up because if we do have results tomorrow of this presidential election, if your party wins, you should not be gloating. If your party loses, you cannot lash out in hate. I mean, this is really important. Our kids are watching us. It breaks my heart when I see adults bullying each other on social media and then the kids see it and we wonder why our kids are cyberbullying each other.
0:11:54 – Speaker 2
It’s because we’re doing it, we are setting the example for sure. Realize again that God is God and no one can take his place, no matter who wins or loses. He has a plan for this country. He has a plan for your family and your life.
0:12:08 – Speaker 1
We have got to trust him in that, and going back to this concept of when people are down, don’t kick them if your party loses tomorrow or whatever, I can’t help but notice how many marriages have struggled this year. We’ve all seen this play out on social media high profile marriages. Some of the comments to those families are atrocious, for example well, the way you behave and what you believe, I understand why your family is falling apart. No, what People are cruel. And so I just want to say check yourself. If you see someone you disagree with, the hurting, sad, you don’t reach out unless it’s to help, to speak, encouragement into that person, not to knock them down when they’re struggling.
0:12:59 – Speaker 2
The bottom line is that the world is full of hurting people. Some are going to have the same beliefs of you, Some are not. Love them all. That’s what Jesus calls us to do. Recognize that your neighbor is flawed and so are you. Love your neighbor even when you disagree with them. And when the people you disagree with are sad, hurting or disappointed, love them even more.
Transcribed by https://podium.page