0:00:00 – Speaker 1
nextTalk, sponsored by nextTalk.org, contains content of a mature nature. Parental guidance is advised. Welcome to nextTalk Radio with Mandy and Kim on AM630, the Word. Mandy is the author of Talk and Kim is the director of nextTalk, a non-profit organization helping parents’ cyber parent through open communication. Follow us on Facebook, instagram and Twitter. Visit our free video series and subscribe to our weekly podcast at nextTalk.org. Are you ready for the nextTalk?
0:00:36 – Speaker 2
So today’s show is going to answer that difficult question how in the world do I get my kids to actually talk?
0:00:42 – Speaker 3
You know, we’ve been going back to the basics in this series. We answered the question why is nextTalk needed and where do I start? In the where do I start? We laid out those four steps you know me marriage, kids and tribe. And we wanted to come back and really talk about that kid portion because it could be a show in and of itself. I mean, it could be like eight shows, it’s like a whole 50-part series quite frankly, because you know, every kid is different.
0:01:08 – Speaker 2
They’re different in different ages and stages. They respond to different things. So it’s a lot to figure out how to get your kids talking to you.
0:01:14 – Speaker 3
Well, and quite frankly, it’s why we do what we do, everything. So you know, like every show we’ve done, whether it be on Twitter or Instagram or Snapchat or transgender, all of those shows are specific in how to get your kids to talk to you about that thing. But we kind of wanted to do like an overview, like a talking point kind of thing on how do you get them to open up to you.
0:01:33 – Speaker 2
It’s definitely one of our most popular questions that we get, so I think let’s just start off with some of the obvious things, like are you like stopping the whole process from day one because you’re shutting down the conversation?
0:01:43 – Speaker 3
Yeah, I know it hurts. We covered this in the last show. You know it really does start with us. Sometimes we’re not really listening to them, to little things, and then maybe that’s going to equate to oh, mom cares, and so I’ll tell her the big things. Yep, you had a story about this with the lunch, remember? Yeah, that you shared with me and I was like Kim, that doesn’t seem so relevant, but it is such a great story, kim, stop talking.
0:02:08 – Speaker 1
I mean, it was so.
0:02:09 – Speaker 3
Well, I mean, when you first told me, I was like yeah, yeah, yeah, and then I got to thinking about it. I’m like this is so amazing, it’s such a great story. Well.
0:02:16 – Speaker 2
I think it’s encouraging to myself and others because it’s such a little thing. It’s little Sometimes we get super overwhelmed with this whole process.
0:02:23 – Speaker 3
Yeah, Like am I doing it right.
0:02:25 – Speaker 2
It’s so hard, but really it’s those little things. And so my son was at school and first in kindergarten and came home and was visibly upset and I was asking him questions. He wasn’t really saying anything, and then in later, what I figured out to be the issue was that he I had packed him yogurt that was on sale clearance, so I bought a lot of it. Yeah, I’m like you will have this in your lunch every day, and it was from the movie Frozen, which was a big movie for boys and girls. Yeah, at least I thought so.
0:02:52 – Speaker 1
And it had like.
0:02:53 – Speaker 2
Elsa on the yogurt. Yeah, some of them were Olaf. I should have packed the Olaf, apparently. Yeah, back to Elsa, and some of the kids were giving me a hard time that it was girl yogurt, and so the next day I packed I did not pack the girl yogurt and he came home and he was like mom, you listen to me, and I guess the fact that I heard him and I didn’t make it belittle it I didn’t say like it’s just yogurt, Like I wanted to, Because I did say that in my head.
0:03:16 – Speaker 3
I think I would have said it’s just yogurt.
0:03:17 – Speaker 1
Like get it together child.
0:03:18 – Speaker 2
It was on sale and you will eat the girl yogurt.
0:03:20 – Speaker 3
I don’t care. We have a whole bunch of these. You’re going to eat it.
0:03:23 – Speaker 2
Yes, that’s what I said inside, but I was like, ok, I had been on this nextTalk journey long enough. I was like I hear you, I feel like this is a moment that you are kind of testing me, and it really was. He came back and he was like you listened, and I appreciate that mom.
0:03:37 – Speaker 3
Well, and when we model that for them like the little things matter, we’re just setting up that culture that we’ve been talking about building in our homes, where we listen and we take into consideration what you’re saying.
0:03:50 – Speaker 2
And the ways that we shut down conversation very, it can be everything we talked about this in the last show from your tone. Are you talking down to your kids or your spouse? Not listening at all? Like the yogurt thing I easily could have been like, you will not only eat one, but two.
0:04:06 – Speaker 3
LC yogurts, because it’s my household and you’re going to live under my rules.
0:04:09 – Speaker 2
Yes.
0:04:12 – Speaker 3
See that kind of thing, even though it’s true that doesn’t really work anymore. That’s, there’s a shift we got to be careful.
0:04:19 – Speaker 2
And it’s true, it is my household and there are rules. Yes, but I explain the why behind it now, and that’s all the difference.
0:04:24 – Speaker 3
And you take their thoughts and feelings into consideration? Yes, and you talk about them. I try so hard. Yeah, not always. Not always good.
0:04:32 – Speaker 2
Broadcasting their business. Don’t you just like cringe inside when you see the broadcasting of every detail of, especially middle schoolers and high schoolers. I want to die inside for them.
0:04:43 – Speaker 3
Your tween girl does not want the whole world to know when she started her period or when she shaved her legs. Please do not. Do not do it. It’s gonna. They’re never gonna tell you anything Like I cringe when I see it. It’s so hard to see Because I know that the barriers of communication are being created right there. The walls are gonna go up and listen. If you’ve done that, let me just tell you I’ve done that and I know the detriment of it and that’s why I cringe now, because I’ve made the same mistake.
0:05:14 – Speaker 2
So I’m not trying to shame anyone here, but we’re all thrust into this whole Facebook world together and we’re like oh, my goodness, I just have to share all these wonderful things. It’s so cool, it’s so fun and we’re just doing it. So we’re learning, we’re all learning together.
0:05:25 – Speaker 3
We’re all learning, we’re all learning and I’ve been just as guilty. I, yes, 100%, have been just as guilty, but I know the damage it can do to the relationship now First hand. Yeah, you’re bad and I’m just kidding.
0:05:36 – Speaker 2
We gotta mess over here Talking to myself, talking to myself. Okay, so my kids would tell you I shut down conversation with a look Like it’s not so much what I say, I know the look.
0:05:45 – Speaker 3
Yeah, I know the look, you felt it. Yeah, when I bring something up. Yeah, I’ve seen the look.
0:05:53 – Speaker 2
Yes, it’s true In your mind.
0:05:55 – Speaker 3
You’re saying mini majors, no do not.
0:05:58 – Speaker 2
Yes, shut your mouth girl. Yes, and I don’t even realize I’m doing it. That’s the worst part. So I’ve had to try to learn to feel the look before I make the look or as I’m doing it.
0:06:08 – Speaker 3
So from now on, when I see it, I’m gonna take a picture of you. You should Cause even this morning.
0:06:13 – Speaker 2
Just so you know we’re parenting this and working through this with you.
0:06:17 – Speaker 3
Real time.
0:06:17 – Speaker 2
This morning in the car. We’ve had a rough couple of weeks back to school and all the sports starting, inquire and life and it’s busy and crazy.
0:06:25 – Speaker 3
You got to schedule again. My bed broke.
0:06:27 – Speaker 2
Not because I have like a super duper sex life. Well, I do.
0:06:31 – Speaker 3
I do. That would make for an awesome story.
0:06:33 – Speaker 2
That would be a better story, it was a cheap bed from Ikea.
0:06:38 – Speaker 3
That would be a good story.
0:06:40 – Speaker 1
I’m sure that’s how my husband tells the story, my bed broke yeah.
0:06:45 – Speaker 2
But we digress the point being.
0:06:48 – Speaker 3
We’re talking about how do I get my kids to talk, and now we’re talking about a broken bed. We’re getting there, I promise, I promise.
0:06:53 – Speaker 2
So basically, we’re parenting this in real time and we just had a struggle of the last couple of weeks and we’re in the car this morning and I know I’ve been given a lot of the look and I was telling my kids like I could tell I was shutting down communication. So I was like guys, I got to work on something and they’re like what? And I just looked at them and they’re like the look mom.
And I was like yeah, I feel like I’ve been giving it a lot the last week or two and they’re like you totally have. I was like I’m so sorry, it’s not you guys. Mom’s been stressed out and overwhelmed and tired and not feeling good and I’m giving you the look and I’ve noticed you’ve not been talking a lot to me and they’re like, well, who wants to talk to you when you give us the look? So this was just today, so we’re in it with you. It’s easy to shut down communication, but the cool thing is it’s also easy to repair it. Being able to say to your kid like man, I messed this up or please help me do better, it automatically kind of opens those floodgates of transparency and conversation.
0:07:48 – Speaker 3
Well, and I love your story that you just shared about this morning. We need to pray for you, kim. No.
0:07:52 – Speaker 2
I’m just joking. Seriously, sister, for real.
0:07:55 – Speaker 3
But I love it because you know open communication and creating this culture it’s not a one and done. Yes, it helps when you’ve created it and then you can move forward, but it’s always. You can always pick this up and repair it. And I mean, like God can heal and amend any relationship, he can get in there and take a situation that seems hopeless and, by you know, by a couple months later your kids are talking to you like crazy. So don’t ever give up on this thing.
0:08:21 – Speaker 2
No, because Satan will speak into that security for sure it’s huge. He will say you’ve already messed it up. He said that to me.
0:08:27 – Speaker 3
It is too late, or like with us, he’ll say you guys are like having a radio show, you should have this together. Like he tells me that all the time when I mess up, but then I just say, nope, I’m gonna get in there, I’m gonna repair what just happened, I’m gonna talk about it, we’re gonna get back on the right path. You know Absolutely.
0:08:44 – Speaker 2
So you know, take notice. Am I shutting down the conversation? How am I doing it? There’s so many different ways. That’s step one in getting your kids to talk.
0:08:52 – Speaker 3
Yeah, and you know, if your kid doesn’t trust you, they’re not gonna confide in you. We kind of talked about that. Don’t broadcast their business, Keep their information safe. Now, there are gonna be sometimes, when you really create this culture, that you may need to report some things If somebody’s being bullied or suicide threats or anything that a life is at stake. But you’re gonna report together. You’re gonna teach your kid how to report so you can text an anonymous line. You can. You know you can sit down and write an email together to the counselor so your kid is in on it. They know it. But you’re empowering your kid to do the right thing. It’s not just us, you know, taking the information they give us and report, report, report, report.
It’s teaching our kids how to do that.
0:09:30 – Speaker 2
You don’t wanna blindside your kid.
0:09:32 – Speaker 3
We don’t wanna blindside them.
0:09:33 – Speaker 2
Yeah, you know, I love the one that we all have to do and I don’t think a lot of us realize it is we’ve gotta find when our kids like to talk.
0:09:42 – Speaker 1
Yes.
0:09:43 – Speaker 2
All of your kids will be different. I wish they were all the same. That would be so much easier. Yes, they’re all going to be different.
0:09:48 – Speaker 3
You know, find out when. It may be at bedtime, it may be at meals, it may be in the mornings, when it’s just you and this one particular kid and you have 30 minutes and that is their time. You have to identify that and then pray over that. You know, dear Lord, I know that I have a long time with this kid in the car for 30 minutes. Give me the words to say you know, tell me what to ask them, ask open-ended questions. You know, one of the questions that I always like to ask that I feel like elicits a lot of conversation is has anybody been getting in trouble at school and tell me about that situation? And it’ll always bring up like cuss, words or sass or disrespect or something that then we can talk. It creates a bigger picture of let’s talk about disrespect and what if you would talk to your parents like that and you know, like little things like that, like being able to talk with them? I have a night owl in my house.
Yeah.
0:10:43 – Speaker 2
I am not in my house.
0:10:44 – Speaker 3
That’s hard.
0:10:45 – Speaker 2
That’s hard. Yeah, he my oldest. He would stay up till 2 am and he is like me in that he does not need a lot of sleep Like I’m good with your heart.
0:10:53 – Speaker 1
Bless your hearts.
0:10:54 – Speaker 2
My husband needs like 22.
0:10:56 – Speaker 3
Yeah, if I don’t get at least eight, like don’t even talk to me, like don’t even. That’s kind of how I am today, which is why I’m a little sassy. Kim, put your sass in the trash girl.
0:11:06 – Speaker 2
That’s what my little girl says. But it’s true, he will stay up late and he’s most alert and on top of things late at night and that’s when he wants to talk. So we call them LNDs LND late night dates and he’ll ask me. He will ask me every day. I cannot stay up late every night. But he knows I’ll say let’s schedule it for Friday night or we’re going to do it next week on Tuesday, and he looks forward to it and he never forgets. And that means we pop popcorn, we wait till everybody’s asleep, it’s just him and I and we talk or we watch sports together or watch a movie together, and in that interaction he’ll talk about things like what did mom, what did you think of that way that lady was dressed, or this happened at school. He just opens up during that time and so that has become our time where I know that I’ll get information from him and I can help him process things. Lnds, my other kid, it’s got to be something active.
0:11:55 – Speaker 3
Yeah.
0:11:56 – Speaker 2
And my little girl like in the bathtub or at nighttime when she’s going to bed and I’m rubbing her back, she’ll just start talking about things. They’re all going to be different. Here’s what I want to say about that. It’s easy to get frustrated and think there is nothing that works. Do not give up. No, keep trying and trying and trying. There will be something. Yes, you just got to figure it out and pray for God to show you that space.
0:12:16 – Speaker 3
And if you have a breakthrough, even if it’s just a five minute conversation on the way to soccer practice and they open up to you for five minutes, come back to that later that night or something and be like I so enjoyed that. I loved that. You know you can ask me anything, right, you’ve got into that habit. And now my son you know who you think boys are hard, you know to get to talk and my boy, I think it’s different because we started it so young.
You know, with my daughter we missed it and I really dove into the open communication and so with my son, I started it so early, being intentional about it and like at bedtime, like he will say, can we have talk time tonight? Like he will. He will say, and it’s after our bedtime prayers, and he will want me to crawl into bed with him and he will just talk about things going on at school. You know feelings, thoughts, that kind of thing and it’s a really great thing. But it took a lot of intentional, little bitty conversations that led up to there. You know, like little couple and you got to just keep finding those, be intentional about it.
0:13:21 – Speaker 2
There are some kids that are. You may be trying all these different things and thinking I guess it’s just not working.
I do have one child who likes to write which is weird because he’s little and he doesn’t like to write for school. But when it comes to strong emotions, he feels them so deeply that he has trouble expressing them verbally. And so he actually did it on his own for the first time maybe a year and a half ago. I was upset with him about something and we were talking it through and he was in trouble and it was not a good decision he made and he felt like I was so mad at him that I didn’t want him to be my son anymore, which obviously is not the case, and I wasn’t saying anything terrible, but he’s just very sensitive. And so he went in his room and he wrote me a letter about and he used some pictures and all of that, and my first reaction because it was such a strong emotion was to like rush in there and be like son. Oh, my goodness, no and talk, talk talk, talk, talk.
But literally the Holy Spirit stopped me in my tracks and I got a piece of paper and I wrote back and that has become our thing, like whenever there’s a lot going on in his little world.
We will write back and forth. We’ll sit in silence, sometimes for like 30, 40 minutes, just write back and forth on the same paper like little messages, and then I was feeling this way and then this happened. That’s what works for him in this stage of life and that also brings to the point that kids will change. So if it’s not working anymore, right, right, be flexible, find their new talk time, but find the time when they feel safe to open up.
0:14:47 – Speaker 3
I’ve talked to a lot of moms and tween girls really about journaling back and forth and they do that and they literally answer questions like what is sex and what it that way because it’s less embarrassing and then, and you know what, for the moms and dads, it gives them a little bit more time to think too because, you can say I’m gonna respond to this while you’re at school, or I’m not gonna do it right now.
You know, it just gives you a little bit, so try whatever works. I love what you said too about you know. Sometimes it’s just, if my boy is not opening up to me, I’ll be like hey, let’s go play some b-ball in the driveway. You know we talk smack to each other and I you know like you’re gonna get beat by your mama. How’s it gonna feel?
0:15:29 – Speaker 2
You know we do all that. I was thinking you’re down to China time.
0:15:33 – Speaker 3
But then, as we’re playing, and then he may say something and it may sparks a conversation well, what do you mean? What do you mean by that Like? What do you? So? Whatever gets them to talk it may be shopping, it may be taking them out to their favorite restaurant, like just what is that time?
I know also, kim and I, one thing we’ve been struggling with is we’re busy, like we’re and tired, we’re busy and tired, and so pray for God to reveal to you when the time is, and that was something I prayed, god carve out time like and show it to me. And I’ll never forget when he did. I was driving to school one morning and it was just with the one kid and they just were like opening up all in the morning. It was like a new phase because they’d never done that before. And I said I was, I called my husband and after I dropped my kid off and I was like God answered my prayer, like I’ve been praying for this, and he showed me the time that we would talk and it was only like 10 or 15 minutes, like it wasn’t a big deal, but it was just the right amount of time. We were in the car together alone that he was ready to talk.
0:16:40 – Speaker 2
It will happen. Yeah, hang in there. Yeah, if you’re just now tuning in, this is nextTalk Radio at 2pm on AM 630,. The word nextTalk Radio is listener supported. Everything we do here at our nonprofit to keep kids safe online is accomplished through your donations To support our organization. Go to nextTalk.org and click on. Give One more thing I want to throw in there because I know it helped me. I was feeling a little discouraged with one of my kiddos who was he’s naturally kind of quiet and guarded. Yeah, and I shared. He came home one day and he was visibly upset about something from school and he wouldn’t tell me and I didn’t want to push him so far. That pushed him away. You don’t, you can’t be a nag.
No, and I was heading down that road. I could feel it. I was like, okay, stop talking, Kim. And so we just sat there quietly and we watched a show that he liked. And then I was like, oh, I got to tell you this story. And I told him a story about when I was the same age as him and I wore my favorite pink dress to school and I thought I was like rocking it.
Like oh my goodness, people are going to stare because I look that good Like I don’t know why but I really I did.
Yeah, you had a pride thing going on, I did at an early age, I guess and so I walked in and I was feeling good about myself and this, like the most popular boy in class, called me a pink pig and I thought I was going to die. Like I cried and cried in the bathroom and I thought it was the end of the world. And I was sharing this story with my son about how, in that moment, I just thought I was so embarrassed and I thought it was the end of the world and I was sharing all of my emotions with him.
And then I shared the other side of it, like afterwards when I realized it wasn’t that big of a deal and blah, blah blah, and he like could not believe that I had experienced something like that that he could relate to, Like they don’t think of you as ever being their age.
0:18:20 – Speaker 3
They think of us as like superheroes or something Like we know everything.
0:18:24 – Speaker 2
Yes, and the fact that he could relate to those feelings. I mean, he just opened up and he told me what happened that day and we were able to talk through it, and so sometimes it’s sharing your own stuff from when you were an age that they can relate to. That gets them talking.
0:18:37 – Speaker 3
Yeah, absolutely. I love that. One thing that you can do when your kids are little. I started this with my son If you ever hear a new word or phrase, come home and ask me. That opens up a lot of dialogue because they’re going to be coming home saying what is the F word, what is this, what is that? And that’s when that you cannot go into crazy parent mode. That is when you because it’s a test when they come home and ask you they don’t realize they’re testing you, but they are and responding in a calm manner but giving them the information in age appropriate ways. It builds the conversation and you’re creating this standard operating procedure in your family that when they hear something new, they come home and ask you.
And what starts as a cuss word, I’m telling you, quickly escalates to sexuality and cutting. I’ve lived this for the last four years. It goes by really fast. One day she’s asking me about the F word, the next day she’s asking me about you know, bisexual friend and people who are cutting and how she handles all that. It escalates quickly. So if you can get this right in the very beginning, man, it just sets up a good foundation.
0:19:46 – Speaker 2
Absolutely, and these are great, these phrases and the standard operating procedures that the sooner you can instill them, it just becomes normal for them. So that’s a great one. We use that all the time. Another one that we say all the time is you know, guard your heart and mind. Yeah, you know. Teach your kids how to do that, teach them to look away and guard their hearts. We role play, you know, because it sounds funny, but kids love that and they remember it.
0:20:10 – Speaker 3
Yeah.
0:20:10 – Speaker 2
And so we’ll talk about, like, when I see something on the screen, what do I do? And we walk through it and I’ll make them laugh and whatever. But they remember it and now they just do it, even when it’s not that bad.
0:20:19 – Speaker 3
Well, and then after school or at the dinner table, you can say did you have to guard your heart and mind today? Is there anything you need to turn away from? Yes, that opens up a conversation and we get those guard your heart and mind straight from scripture, guys. Yep Proverbs 4, 23, matthew 15, 19 and Psalm 101, 2 and 3. I love that one, the NASB version. Yeah, it says I will set no worthless thing before my eyes. I love that. Yes, I love that. But we get those straight from scripture as to why we guard our heart and mind, and so our kids know that. But just asking them did you have to turn away from anything today? So good.
And then it just creates like conversation and you’re gonna realize, oh my gosh, they do have a lot coming at them, fast they do.
0:20:59 – Speaker 2
And if they can talk through that with you without you freaking out. You’re on the right road.
0:21:03 – Speaker 1
You’re on the right road.
0:21:04 – Speaker 2
They’ll talk to you about anything. Yeah, we need to teach them that our Bible is the moral compass for our family. About right and wrong. When something happens, have them look up scripture. Yeah, let’s see what God has to say about that. Right. Have them have access to their Bible or yours and then discuss it, create conversation around it. One that we use a lot with our young kids is that people are more important than screens.
0:21:24 – Speaker 1
Yes.
0:21:26 – Speaker 2
I noticed it early, when our grandmas would come over to visit yeah, they live nearby and they’d be leaving and my kids would still be like watching a show or on a screen and they wouldn’t even be noticing that this person that we love and respect and care for was leaving or coming in. Yeah, and until I started saying people are more important than screens, and it’s almost like a switch, they’ll go oh, yes, right, right, and they’ll go to the door and you know, or they’ll have a conversation, or when their friends are over and the friend wants to play on a screen instead of play with them. Yeah, people are more important than screens.
0:21:59 – Speaker 3
Okay, I’m going to just interject here and be sassy for a minute, because I’m having that moment where I’m feeling a little sassy. You can do that. Parents and grandparents. We have to be the model here that people are more important than screens.
So, true, I have seen this, I’m guilty of this, yeah, and you know, at dinner with the grandparents or whatever, and I’m on my phone, or grandparents are on their phone, like we get a lot of calls at our, at our nonprofit, how do I talk to my parents? Because they’re always on their phone and they don’t realize it’s setting the tone for our kids.
0:22:29 – Speaker 2
So true.
0:22:30 – Speaker 3
And again, this is just a shift that we’re all trying to figure out, so I’m not blaming anyone, but we got to be the model here. People are more important than screens. We got to model this. I’m glad you said that. So true, yeah, sorry for being sassy.
0:22:42 – Speaker 2
No, that’s not sassy girl. Yeah, just telling her like it is. Yeah, and speaking of that, you got to carve out family time without screens. Yes, everybody knows that. That is the rule. Like you know, you and I both have the same. There are no screens at the dinner table. Yeah, and I break it all the time on accident, because I’ll have it in my hand and we’ll sit down and I’ll set it on the table, thinking I’m getting rid of it, but it’ll ring or it’ll beep and that is distracting.
0:23:06 – Speaker 3
Yeah.
0:23:06 – Speaker 2
So you’ve got to have a place that’s away from the table.
0:23:09 – Speaker 3
You know, we really all of this stuff, the SOPs that we’re sharing with you and everything. It’s really about building that safe place it is and not broadcasting their business, making sure you’re not going into crazy parent mode. That is really the start of something. And listen, it may be a two minute conversation, but you handled it well and then you come back to your kid and say we did so. That was so great. I’m so glad that you showed me.
The other thing is responding negatively to things they see online. So many times. We want to just take away all their technology. If they know that they’re gonna be rewarded for things they show us online, they’re more apt to tell us what they’re saying online. That’s so true. So reward them for being honest with you about things they’re seeing online. Set up specific guidelines on what you want reported online. They see so much stuff they don’t know what to tell you about. So you know anything relating to marriage, sex dating, violence, cussing, anything like that. Set up some guidelines together. These are the things you need to report to me and you’re not gonna get the app taken away, but I want to make sure that your little mind can I can help process it Like that creates conversation.
0:24:14 – Speaker 2
It sure does, and that’s really the goal here. Yeah, we want no topic to be off-limit. It’s okay. If it’s inappropriate, we need to hear it so, like you said, we can help you process it. And if we’re uptight about it, our kids are gonna be uptight about it. If we scream, they’re not going to tell us next time. So our role in this creating culture, a culture of conversation is really important. The way we react and handle it sets the tone.
0:24:37 – Speaker 3
Well and I know we’re called nextTalk, but really the we got to be good listeners. If we’re not good listeners, we’re not gonna be able to talk to our kids. And so it starts with listening and you know it starts with us. Again, we always go back to that. It starts with us and listening and making sure we’re available for them to talk to us.
0:24:56 – Speaker 2
And remember, it’s okay if you don’t have the answer right away.
0:25:00 – Speaker 3
Yeah.
0:25:00 – Speaker 2
Don’t shut down communication or questions because you feel unsure about the answer. You can say you know what I’m. I want to answer that for you. This is important to me, but I just need 24 hours or I just need a minute to process this. I promise I’ll come back. Just make sure you go back and answer the question so they know that what they’re saying is important to you.
0:25:19 – Speaker 3
To wrap up our segment today. One it starts with us. Make sure we’re not creating walls in our relationships. Two find out when your kid likes to talk. Three be the safe place. Don’t broadcast their business. Build trust.
0:25:34 – Speaker 1
Thanks for joining us on nextTalk Radio with Mandy and Kim on AM 630, the word. You are not alone trying to figure out how to parent in this digital world. We are here with practical solutions to help you. Follow us on Facebook, instagram and Twitter. Find our free video series and podcast at nextTalk.org. Are you ready for the nextTalk?
Transcribed by https://podium.page