0:00:03 – Speaker 1
Hey, this is Mandy and Kim with nextTalk, where we are passionate about keeping kids safe in the digital world.
0:00:09 – Speaker 2
Did you know? we have tens of thousands of listeners in 60 countries. It’s truly amazing, crazy.
0:00:15 – Speaker 1
0:00:16 – Speaker 2
And, as a non-profit, everything we do at nextTalk is supported by people just like you.
0:00:21 – Speaker 1
Be a part of changing the culture of conversation in your home and around the globe by making a donation today.
0:00:28 – Speaker 2
Go to NextTalkorg and click on Give and check out our resources while you’re there More than cyber parenting conversations, to connect.
Okay. so a while back, a dear friend of mine messaged me and she was like hey, do you know anything about the iPod Touch? And I kind of giggled at the time and, very ignorantly, I was like, friend, I don’t think Apple makes iPods anymore, which was totally foolish. Now I’m so embarrassed about it because they totally make them and they’re actually incredibly popular. The iPod Touch is like a thing and I’ve learned a lot about it now and she was totally right. But there you go, You stumble and you fall and you pick yourself up and you learn something and then you share it on the podcast. So that’s what we’re doing is. as I realized that this was a thing when I talked to her and as I was researching, I realized that there’s new ways that kids are hanging out, like an iPod Touch, and also new places that kids are hanging out or places that maybe we just haven’t talked about or learned about, And so we thought we’d share some of that today.
0:01:36 – Speaker 1
Well, i think this is so interesting because, as a parent of two teens, i don’t know anything about the iPod Touch because they have phones. So it’s almost like this is sometimes given before a phone or in place of a phone to delay the phone And right. So this is a perfect example of how you kind of need to know where your kids and their friends are hanging out. So it’s kind of a two-prong question How are they hanging out? So how are they connecting to each other digitally? And then the second part of it is and where? So what app? What’s popular amongst them? Where are they having all the DM parties, you know, the direct messaging, all of that kind of stuff?
0:02:19 – Speaker 2
Well, and it changes all the time, and so we do these kinds of shows with this tone every once in a while, just to tell you what we’re hearing and what we’re seeing. And so, besides the cell phone, how are kids hanging out these days? First of all, it’s something you hear us say all the time, but we wanted to remind you. They’re hanging out on other people’s devices, they’re using a device that is not their own, and we’re reminding you of this because this one takes parents by surprise a lot. They’re like my kid doesn’t have a phone, they don’t have online accounts, they don’t have social media or any of that. And then, a lot of times, we found out later that they do have accounts and social media on phones that they’re borrowing on a regular basis. It’s a real thing, it happens all the time.
0:02:59 – Speaker 1
Absolutely. And tell us also, kim, what you’ve learned about the iPod Touch, because I don’t know about it. So how do they use that? How do they connect on?
0:03:08 – Speaker 2
that OK. so I want to say this the right way, because I think it could come out wrong, because as I was researching it, i thought, oh, this seems like a really good option before a cell phone as something that parents might want to get their kids, to teach them how to navigate a little bit and have some access to being able to message their friends. I had an iPod for many years, but it was just for music, that’s it.
0:03:33 – Speaker 1
Well, that was before we all had connection to the internet. Right, right, that one, you’re ancient, it was so old.
0:03:39 – Speaker 2
It was like in the shape of a tablet and 700 pounds.
0:03:44 – Speaker 1
That’s not really the iPod Touch that we’re talking about, right? No, it’s different now.
0:03:49 – Speaker 2
They’re uber uber popular and the iPod Touch, which is like the most popular of these music listening devices. There are other brands that have them. That’s the most popular one. It’s a similar design to the iPhone, It kind of looks like it, but it connects to the internet only through Wi-Fi and it doesn’t use cellular network data. It’s not a smartphone. In other words, anywhere that there is Wi-Fi So school, the coffee shop, the friend’s house, your house, sitting outside in a parking lot next to the Walmart, like whatever Anywhere that your kid can get Wi-Fi they basically turn their iPod touch into a cell phone. It can do everything that a cell phone can do once they have access to Wi-Fi. What makes it different is if they’re on the road, driving and they don’t have Wi-Fi, they can’t like use it the way you would with your smartphone. So that’s really what an iPad-.
0:04:38 – Speaker 1
Well, wait, unless let me just add here unless you have one of those fancy cars that have a Wi-Fi on it, i mean, hello, we don’t have that, but 2006.
0:04:49 – Speaker 2
So, yeah, i’m lucky if it starts. But no, that is so true. The cars are fancy now And I even have the ability to offer Wi-Fi from my phone. You know what I mean. So your kids can use a hot spot of their friends or of yours if they’re in the car. So and again, i don’t want this to come out the wrong way I think a lot of times we’re looking for ways to introduce our kids to the responsibility and technology of an iPhone or of a cell phone of any type, and these things seem like a good idea. But if we really pick it apart, it’s pretty much the same thing.
0:05:24 – Speaker 1
I think the problem that we get into is when we give them a device, thinking it’s not an iPhone and so we don’t have the conversations, And you know. so it’s like a both-and Yes, delay the phone, maybe find another device like the iPod Touch, right, But you still have to have the conversations because they can still get interact with online strangers, right. They can still Google search, They can still can they do social media so they can download apps like Instagram.
0:05:51 – Speaker 2
all the apps, All the things they can send nudes They can and now that I’ve, you know, figured out what it is, of course now I hear about it all the time. So I was just talking with a mom whose kids was sending nudes and all the things through the iPod Touch.
0:06:05 – Speaker 1
Yes, And this mom thought, oh, they can’t do that because it’s not a phone.
0:06:11 – Speaker 2
Yes, and so that’s the hard part. And also, again, an exclamation point on what you said. It’s not about the device. Whatever you decide to give your kid or not give them, it’s going to be the conversations, because even if you don’t give them the iPod Touch, they’re still sitting next to the kid who has one at the lunch table. Amen, sister.
0:06:31 – Speaker 1
Well, i’m glad you brought this up. When you said that you wanted to do this show, i was like, well, yes, this makes total sense. I mean, i don’t know anything about this device, but why would I? I’m in the I’m in the phase of parenting where everybody has a phone now, you know. so I’m not in that phase of parenting where you are with littles, where people are still trying to delay the phone, which is a good, a good thing. But we also have to be aware of what these filler devices actually can do and not do.
0:07:00 – Speaker 2
So another one of those that you are aware of are gaming systems.
0:07:04 – Speaker 1
Yeah, gaming, gaming systems.
0:07:06 – Speaker 2
Parents forget. They’re like yeah, you can go play in the Xbox or the PS, whatever, 5000,. You know, whatever it is, go do it, get on your switch.
0:07:15 – Speaker 1
But there’ll be strangers, they’ll be talking.
0:07:17 – Speaker 2
They are strangers.
0:07:18 – Speaker 1
Yes, It’s not like old school Nintendo that we used to have, where we would get on and play Mario and there was no connection to the on to the outside world. It’s totally changed now. Yeah, you could be playing with Johnny from Scotland at 5am, you know, i mean, who knows what’s going on online? Everything changed.
0:07:37 – Speaker 2
Everything is changing. I’ve had many moms say, oh no, we don’t have a cell phone, but they have three gaming systems, so we’re good. I’m like, yes, but are you talking about the dangers that they’re facing online? So it’s again about the conversation, another one that I think is a little more obvious. But we still meet people. I just was talking to this mom the other day, found out her kiddo was getting up in the middle of the night and messaging strangers on the family laptop that sits at the island And they felt like was safe. And I get it, i would feel like that was safe too. No judgment here, but we just have to remember to think outside of the big bad cell phone dangers that our kids have access to other people and other dangers outside of the smartphone.
0:08:21 – Speaker 1
Kim, i loved what you just said there And I want to highlight it. You said we have to think outside of the big, bad cell phone.
0:08:29 – Speaker 2
0:08:29 – Speaker 1
This is so important because, yes, the big bad cell phone. There’s a lot that goes on. But now all of these devices, because they have online connection, they become kind of a big bad cell phone And we have to be aware of that, and so that’s kind of what we’re saying. Well, you know, the other thing about this is TV. You know, when we were growing up it was cable. You were limited to certain channels, of course. You know the Playboy channel could come up whatever. You know there were inappropriate things. But now with the smart TV, like they can access YouTube TV through the TV, they can access all these different apps through the T. It’s not just a cable package that you’re getting. That you have to be aware of. Channel 6969.
0:09:18 – Speaker 2
Can I say that? Only you, andy Maiger. Am I allowed to say that? Yes, yes, so the days.
0:09:28 – Speaker 1
It’s true, though. You know what true? When we grew up, it was just don’t turn to that channel or whatever. And now it’s. they can access all these apps through the smart TV.
0:09:38 – Speaker 2
I literally, when I look at the TV now, i feel like it’s a giant cell phone hanging on my wall And you know, I just had this moment the other day.
My kiddo loves Pokemon and collects them, sells them, trades them, all the things. And he likes to watch this one YouTuber And so it’s the worst I’m not going to lie Like it is torture to watch, but it’s his thing, so I watch it with him. And at the end he was talking about like I want to get to know my fans, you know, message me and all these things. And I thought, and of course, my kid was like, yes, you know, i want to get to know him, i want to message him. And it reminded me that the TV is another access point for outsiders to reach my kid in a way that seems harmless, that a lot of times we forget about. So again, that’s another how they’re hanging out online that we normally don’t think of.
0:10:28 – Speaker 1
Well, and we. It’s sad. I mean, some of these YouTubers are great. They just want to build an audience.
0:10:33 – Speaker 2
You know they’ll, they just want to speak. The kids language.
0:10:35 – Speaker 1
But then you have those people that are literally up to no good. That could be reaching your kid, and you got you got to be careful with that, you got to be careful. So you know we’re talking about all these devices. I think the thing you take away from this is how are your kids hanging out? And that’s what you need to focus on, so it’s not so overwhelming. So, kim, right now for you, it’s a lot of that. It’s a lot of their friends have iPod touches, so you’re getting in there to doing the research on iPod touch. I don’t have to worry about that because that’s not in my season, so I think that’s why it’s so important. Sometimes it’s so overwhelming. Oh my gosh, all these devices and whatever. But think about how are my kids connecting with their friends online? and then focus on that.
0:11:17 – Speaker 2
Great advice, cause if you’re trying to learn everything about everything and it’s in places your kids are not even at, or using devices they don’t even have, then it’s just a waste of energy and it’ll make you nervous. So focus in on the season they’re at, the stage they’re at. be in the space that your kids are in.
0:11:33 – Speaker 1
And you know, when you said you wanted to do this show, kim, immediately I went to this event that I was at and I kind of had. You know you were talking about how they’re hanging out, like what devices they’re using, but my mind went to where they’re hanging out. And this is why, if you’ve been to an event or if you’ve listened to some of our previous podcasts on parenting social media, you know that I typically recommend that Instagram be their first social media platform, because you can be logged into their phone and see all their stuff right, and so to me, that’s just a whole new level of good monitoring that the other platforms really don’t provide. And so one of the mom’s questions I thought it was such a great question She said because of vanishing mode in Instagram.
My kid is telling me that bad stuff happens in the DM Instagrams versus on Snapchat, and I loved this because this is why she knew her son and where they were all doing the bad stuff. And that’s the key right there, because we’ve said, even on our old Instagram show we were like you know, they’ve updated it and now there’s disappearing messages on Instagram, so it does make it more like Snapchat, but even considering that you still have more monitoring capability with Instagram because you can be logged into their phone and you can see the DMs before they disappear sometimes. I still stand by the fact that I think it’s a better platform overall to start them on, but I loved this mom pointing out and knowing where her kids were doing all the stuff, and you need to know that because they can be sneaky on any and every platform that’s out there.
0:13:19 – Speaker 2
That’s the key, you know be in their space, understand their technology. And yes, it is a lot of work, but it’s this phase of parenting, it’s what we need to do to keep our kids safe. You know the same mom that told me about the iPod Touch. she recently reached out and said have you heard of Discord?
0:13:36 – Speaker 1
Yeah, it’s like a whole group chat. It’s a whole thing with teenagers And you have to be careful. There’s pornography, there’s all the thing online strangers, there’s all the things that they can be exposed to, just like on social media DMs. We talked about gaming devices when we were talking about you know, how are they hanging out? The way are they hanging out online is what I’m seeing a lot of is gamers will talk on Discord and find people to play with online and then connect online. So the Discord gaming community is kind of connected. But then also how, you need to be thinking about what games are my kids playing and how are they connecting to the people that they’re playing with.
So, and that’s just a simple conversation. Like you know, you walk in and your kids playing Madden okay, well, who are you playing against? I met this person. Okay, how did you meet this person? You know, kind of thing, where are you chatting with them at? What is going on here, kind of thing, and just figuring out how are they connecting to strangers, how are they? and, of course, this is for older teens. You know you don’t want your nine or 10 year old connecting with strangers. My son didn’t have the opportunity to play with strangers online until 13, 14. I mean, it was late in the game. We had strict rules about it because he wasn’t ready yet. But once he got social media and that whole world was opened up for him, then we talked about how his gaming experience would be different and what he could do online with the gaming world.
0:15:08 – Speaker 2
I think one of the things to remember here which you know we’ve mentioned many times before, but I think it’s worth saying is that you know, whatever device they’re on, okay, we can figure that out, you know, can work through that and learn about it And yes, the places they hang out are gonna change And so it’s.
You know, it’s hard to say, we have to stay on top of that, like what’s the latest thing and what’s going on. But again, it’s about talking through those things and then that becoming normal for them to share that with you, because they’re not gonna just stay in one place. They may meet online gaming but then say, oh, hey, let’s chat over here And then it could progress into oh, you know, here’s my phone number, or let’s through social media, let’s DM, or you know, it could progress to a closer connection over time. And you know, way back here, when you have the conversation about gaming with strangers, you can stop that progression by opening up the type of household where you talk about everything, where they’re not hiding things from you, where you’re teaching them about the dangers of what’s going on and they’re actually listening and reporting when people reach out to them that they don’t know.
So, it’s like a whole process that we have to keep in mind and continually being digging in there with the conversations, because that’s the key. Yes, knowing all the places and the how is important, but the key is the conversation.
0:16:28 – Speaker 1
Well, and there’s a couple you know important content conversations that are gonna happen across all platforms. So you know that grooming we did a show on talking to your kids about grooming. That is just one of our most important shows because it talks about in-person grooming and online grooming and what you need to watch out for. you know, the no secrets in our family is a big deal because then when a stranger asks your kid to keep a secret, like a red flag goes off. So you know, instilling those types of things will touch every device or every platform that they choose to be on, but also remember there’s all the conversations that have to do with being in the online world.
0:17:13 – Speaker 2
We wanna always be talking to our kids about content like what people are saying bad words, inappropriate things that they’re sharing with you, or asking you personal information that kind of stuff. Violence our kids are so desensitized, just like we are, and so we have to be very clear with our kids about when violence has crossed the line and what our expectation is of them to come and tell us when they see something, and being able to process that with us when they do see something. That’s so important. So all of those conversations are the overreaching point of this show that we have got to stay in their world by creating that culture of conversation.
0:17:54 – Speaker 1
Yeah, when you were talking, I was thinking about that show we did on Protect Your Heart and Mind, that value of and that protects them from violence, from nude photos, from all sorts of things that are again gonna be across all these platforms. So one is figure out how are your kids connecting? What devices are they using? Two is where are they hanging out? What apps are they using to communicate? And then three is remember these major conversations that are gonna touch every platform no-transcript. You, you, you, you, You.
Transcribed by https://podium.page