0:00:03 – Speaker 1
Hey, this is Mandy and Kim with nextTalk, where we are passionate about keeping kids safe in the digital world.
0:00:09 – Speaker 2
Did you know? we have tens of thousands of listeners in 60 countries. It’s truly amazing, crazy. only God And, as a non-profit, everything we do at nextTalk is supported by people just like you.
0:00:21 – Speaker 1
Be a part of changing the culture of conversation in your home and around the globe by making a donation today.
0:00:28 – Speaker 2
Go to NextTalkorg and click on Give And check out our resources while you’re there More than cyber parenting conversations to connect.
0:00:38 – Speaker 1
I was recently reading in numbers. I feel like that’s like a forgotten book, You know like, and there was a verse that just popped off the page. This is what it said. I cannot carry all these people by myself. The burden is too heavy for me. It’s numbers 1114. And that’s a good verse. Right, That’s Moses speaking, And he had just led the Israelites out of slavery and they were complaining about the food they had to eat, you know. And here they’ve been led out of slavery And yet they’re complaining.
0:01:17 – Speaker 2
So quickly we forget.
0:01:19 – Speaker 1
Well, and I kept thinking when I was like you know, all these people, i can’t carry all these people in my mind. Here’s where I went, covid and all these kids at my house looking at me and saying chicken again, Like we’re having chicken and like complaining and we’re all healthy. Yes, you know, you have a home, we have a home, everything’s all right, we’re surviving, even though it does feel like the wilderness. You know out here with Corona Town, what’s going on. But that’s what I felt like.
I felt like I feel like every parent can relate to Moses right now Like I got all these people I got to take care of, i got to keep them mentally healthy. I got to do school And you know, even though we’re getting back to some normalcy, we’ll get into a groove and then something will get canceled And then we’re. It’s like up and down, it’s like whiplash, it is You know, it’s like back and forth. And so I just kept thinking about that verse. Parents, it just feels so heavy to carry right now to do all the things during this pandemic.
0:02:18 – Speaker 2
Well, and, like you said, our kids. They’re looking to us for answers, Like the people were turning to Moses, like we’re hungry. You know what are we going to do? Where are we going? And he was just heavy laden with that burden and didn’t necessarily have the answers. He was trying to be obedient in this uncertain time, And his parents, you know, with all the things happening, things hanging over our head like virtual learning, COVID, cancellations, all the things that you mentioned, it just feels chaotic and we don’t have an answer for our kids.
0:02:46 – Speaker 1
Well, and on top of that we got the elections, you know so, so divisive right now. And I just, i just feel like all I want to do is create calm in a chaotic world for my kids. How do I do that? You know, a couple of months back we did a show called three healthy habits for your home and we kind of focused on the importance of structure, routine, sleep, like practical things. This show is kind of different, because chaos and calm, what I’m really talking about is your inner self. You know our inner peace, how we feel on the inside, and if we’re not calm, we’re not going to be able to create a calm environment for our kids. And so how do we get our spirit, our soul, to be calm in such a chaotic time?
0:03:33 – Speaker 2
Let’s start with Philippians four, six through seven, because it’s a good one. It’s such a good verse Don’t worry about anything. Instead, pray about everything, tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace which exceeds anything we can understand. This peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Wow, i mean, that kind of sums it up completely.
0:03:59 – Speaker 1
I mean, that’s the kind of calm we’re talking about, peace that surpasses all understanding. The whole world can be a dumpster fire, which I feel like 2020 kind of is right, but yet inside you have peace, you have calm because you know God, you know, and he says to pray, pray about everything. And so I think that’s point number one, like we have to pray, and I feel like that sounds so cliche, like pray and everything will be fine. We’re not saying everything will be fine, but what we are saying is inside, in our inner peace, that will be fine, we’ll be okay on the inside And the verse you know it really says it clearly.
0:04:41 – Speaker 2
There is no discussion here. You pray about everything you know. Whatever makes you anxious, you pray about that. Pray for people who will vote differently than you. Pray for scientists and doctors to know how to treat this COVID craziness. Pray for your neighbors. Pray that you have peace in your soul. Pray for calm and all the chaos. Pray over everything. That’s where we find true peace in the storm.
0:05:02 – Speaker 1
Well, and you know, i feel like prayer does something to our inside, like our heart. And I had a friend a while back and she went through a pretty bitter divorce. Her husband left for her best friend, and so you can imagine the bitterness there of all of that baggage. And I remember her and, granted, this was years ago, okay So, but I remember her telling me, you know, i didn’t even know what to do with myself And so I started praying and I would actually. I started praying for them, like, and she said at my first, my prayers were like they are terrible people, lord, reveal it all to them, fix them. You know, it was all about like Lord, they got so much stuff going on over there.
Yes, but she said, after months and months, you know, maybe even years of praying, she realized her tone was changing a little bit And it was more about just help me, forgive them, help me move on, and she saw the bitterness and the hatred kind of fading away a little bit. Prayer does that to us when we’re anxious about something or when we have bitterness in our soul, you know, towards someone And I’m thinking about the elections here Like it’s just so divisive right now, you know, but why don’t we pray for those other people and see what God would do in our hearts? Yes, to kind of change our tone, and I think that really gave her an inner peace. You know, she couldn’t change the consequences of their decisions That was life But she was able, through prayer to like, change her attitude and find peace within herself so that she could move forward In her new normal.
0:06:50 – Speaker 2
I’m thinking about how often I will pray to God and I’m saying one thing, but I’m so thankful that he actually knows the needs of my heart, because often I don’t know, i don’t know. I think, just like your friend, i think this is what I want and this is what I need, but I can almost see God looking deep in my heart and saying no, no, kim, i know exactly what you need. And blessing me in that way, without me even asking, and that’s that heart change that’s so beautiful. He knows before we know You know he knows best, and prayer opens up that space where he can do a work in us. And so it’s so important, especially in these uncertain times, that we’re in communication with him over all things.
0:07:34 – Speaker 1
Well, and everything we do at nextTalk is about open communication. Prayer is our, is our vessel. It’s our communication with God And we know how communication changes our family dynamic. So look how it changes our dynamic relationship with Jesus and how he can mold and shape us through that communication. So I know it sounds cliche, but pray, and it doesn’t have to be like 15 minutes in the morning by yourself on your knees. I mean we’re talking, drive with your eyes open as you’re in your car, by yourself. Pray. you know you can pray anytime. Pray as you’re doing laundry. Pray, as it doesn’t have to be like a formal, quote, unquote religious thing. It’s just a continual conversation with your savior.
0:08:16 – Speaker 2
So another thing to think about decrease social media and increase scripture. Yeah.
0:08:21 – Speaker 1
So I found myself spiraling. A couple, couple months ago I was spending a lot of time on social media because that’s where I get most of my news. Now, Right, That’s where we go to get our news And it was just like I was getting so bitter at everyone. I felt like everybody was so hateful and so divided. But then I would like see a neighbor outside and I would know that maybe, you know, we don’t have the same beliefs or whatever, but we were nice in person, Sure, And it kind of gave me hope. I’m like okay, you know, when I turn on social media I feel like everybody’s hating everybody. But when I actually talk to people in real life, it gives me hope that everything’s going to be okay and we can agree to disagree.
0:09:00 – Speaker 2
We don’t have to agree on everything to be nice to each other, right, and social media is okay in moderation, absolutely. But when you go into that space for too long, it’s like over-marinating your meat and it falls apart. You know it’s too much.
0:09:17 – Speaker 1
Too much, way too much. So what we want to do is kind of challenge you, and this is what I did. I would take five. I started with five to 10 minutes a day, that I decreased social media and I would use it for scripture, and you can do this on your phone even if you don’t if you don’t have a Bible, an actual Bible, you know. Download the Uversion app. There’s reading plans on there that you can do. If you don’t know where to start, i recommend James. It’s one of my favorite books of the Bible. It’s like five chapters. It’s just really a good book. And so if you don’t know where to start, start there. And if you get through James and you don’t know where to go next, contact one of us at nextTalk. We’ll give you some direction there. But just see how your attitude changes by just doing that little thing and see how it impacts your piece And really, what do you have to lose?
0:10:08 – Speaker 2
I mean, we all need a little hope, a little encouragement in this crazy chaotic world right now. So give it a try. And that Uversion app Bible app is so great. It has so many cool Bible studies and things that you can do and share. It’s really worth downloading.
0:10:22 – Speaker 1
Well, and speaking of scripture, you know, one of my favorite stories is when the disciples were in the boat and a big storm came about. You know, you can just imagine the winds howling and the waves crashing against the boat And I kind of feel like that’s what 2020 is like the whole crazy storm, right, and you just don’t know what’s going to hit next kind of thing. So they’re in the boat and they’re scared and they don’t know what’s happening and it’s dark And then, all of a sudden, there was this being walking on the water. I mean, they actually thought it was a ghost, right, and I love what, what Jesus says in Matthew 1427, because it was actually Jesus watched walking on the water. He says don’t be afraid, take courage. I am here And you know, sometimes, when 2020 hits and I do turn on social media and I see another breaking news story or whatever, just something really bad happening, i keep thinking you know, all this chaos, it’s just chaos.
Every time I look at the news or more information comes available and I just keep picturing this person far away in the fog that I can barely make out, and it feels like he’s so far away, but in my mind I keep thinking he’s saying to me Mandy, i’m here, i haven’t left. You know I’m going to calm this and I’m going to calm your spirit, and I think that’s what we all need. Like you know, we may not be able to get peace on Twitter. We may not be able to fulfill that, but we can. We can bring Jesus in our soul, in our inside, and create this peace that will transform our home into this calm environment. I think that’s what we need to do. I think that’s really what our focus needs to be on.
0:12:09 – Speaker 2
I really love that image, that picture that you just created for me in those moments where we feel desperate and alone and scared, just imagining Jesus there, like hey, i haven’t gone anywhere, i’m right here, just waiting to be in community with you, just waiting to be in conversation with you and give you the peace that you’re looking for.
And you know it’s funny that you mentioned you know you’re going to find you can’t find the peace on Twitter or wherever you’re looking. It’s so easy for us to try to look for something in the wrong place. I think we just do that sometimes because it’s what other people are doing or what we think might work. And one of the things that we talk about a lot here on nextTalk and I’m sure you’ve heard is practicing self-care. It’s super important and we need to do it. And we need to do that and share it with a spouse or friend so they can hold us accountable and remind us to do it, but we need to talk about what that self-care looks like and that it doesn’t ultimately replace Jesus. That’s really, really important.
0:13:04 – Speaker 1
Yeah, i think we have to. You know, self-care is important And we did a whole show on it. You can go listen to it. But we do need to have a disclaimer.
There have been times that I have practiced self-care and I feel great for three or four hours. You know, like I may go to a spa, or I may just go out on my back porch and be alone for 30 minutes, and it does. It helps me calm my spirit. But then a couple hours later I’m frazzled again And sometimes I’m like what am I doing wrong? Why isn’t self-care working? And what I’ve learned is self-care without prayer in Scripture, it’s just like a bandaid. It’s a temporary fix that makes you feel good in the moment, but it’s not lasting peace The scripture you shared, cam and Philippians like the peace that surpasses all understanding. It’s not that. So we need to do all three of these We need to pray, we need to increase scripture and we need to practice self-care All three of those together what I have found it brings that calm into my spirit, what I’m looking for you know, feeling good on the outside but being restored on the inside, it’s the whole picture.
0:14:16 – Speaker 2
You know, one of the things that you can do if you’re thinking, okay, okay, i know about prayer, i get that, but the self-care thing I’m just not really good at that make a list of five or six things that you can do to take care of yourself. They can be easy, they should be easy, in fact, and they shouldn’t take a lot of money or time. We had a counselor. Share that with this one time. You know they don’t need to be things that require you to even leave your home or like a big planning session. They should be very accessible and simple, but things that fill your cup.
I know for me, one of them is sitting on my back porch. We have like a little fire pit and we call it my happy place And I’ll sit out there with my Bible. I’ll turn on the fire even when it’s 90 degrees, because I like the way it looks And I just feel calm and at peace with my cup of coffee, and I’ll listen to some music And that is a way for me to step outside very quickly and easily. Even when my kids are by themselves, i’m still there And I don’t have to plan for it, but it fills my cup in like 20 minutes or less. Easy to do.
0:15:15 – Speaker 1
Absolutely. Or you know like, lock yourself in the bedroom after dinner and you’re like I get two hours to myself and you may paint your nails, you may watch TV, whatever. You’re shutting off your mind and you’re shutting off social media. You know that’s important.
0:15:30 – Speaker 2
Big time. You know, and with that self care, you’ve also got to be talking to your spouse or a close friend. If we’re struggling and if we’re trying to deal with all that’s coming up and going on, we need to be able to open up. keeping it in the dark and keeping it inside will really suppress that feeling of peace And we need to be able to let it out, talk it through and not suffer in silence.
0:15:52 – Speaker 1
So if you’ve gotten to the end of this show and you’re like you know what? I’m doing a good job of all three of these things I’m praying, i’m reading scripture and I’m doing practicing self care and I’m still really struggling then we need you to go see your doctor, because there may be something bigger going on. You may need some medicine, you may need some counseling, but I think right now it’s such a traumatic and year for all of us we need to make sure we’re taking care of ourselves, because we really do need calm in our lives, so that we can be calm for our kids.
0:16:26 – Speaker 2
So some takeaways for today. Number one pray. It does sound cliche, but we’re telling you it is the most important part of taking care of yourself. Number two decrease social media and increase scripture. And number three practice self care and talk about how you’re doing with a spouse or a trusted friend.
Transcribed by https://podium.page
