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0:00:37 – Speaker 1
Recently, my husband and I were taking a short little road trip and I don’t know if this happens in any other families, but when we’re on the road it’s just great talk time, especially when the kids are watching a movie or whatever. My husband and I can just really have some good conversation.
0:00:52 – Speaker 2
It’s one of our favorite things and sometimes we’ll just say we need to talk. Let’s take a road trip because it is and you have the time, the extended time, to dig in.
0:01:01 – Speaker 1
Yeah, well, and we were. It was during this pandemic situation, and so we were talking about things that we needed to improve and work on. We were being very honest with each other and it was that safe space. And I said to him I think you need to have a little more contentment. And it was very interesting how he responded to that. He was like well, what do you mean by that? I mean he’s very calm, so he doesn’t ever really raise his voice unless somebody’s going to get hurt or something. But he was like what do you mean by that? And I said something like you need to just have peace in all circumstances, even though this pandemic is happening and everything’s unknown right now. Just having that peace within your soul, that’s contentment. And he was like that’s not at all how I would define contentment, which totally caught me off guard. Like what? Not everybody sees the world like I see it.
0:02:00 – Speaker 2
Well, you’re wrong, right.
0:02:04 – Speaker 1
And so I was like well, tell me, how do you define contentment, babe? And he was like I would say it’s like complacency, what? And he went on to say, like a lot of people use it as an excuse to be lazy. And I was like what? Like if like blew my word, I was like what? And he said yeah, he was like. He was like I believe you, you need to always be moving forward and the feeling of contentment can get you stuck.
0:02:33 – Speaker 2
That’s so interesting.
0:02:34 – Speaker 1
So what do you think about that? Do you see that side? It blew my mind when he said it, because I was like I have never in my life I think of contentment, like peace, like no matter what my circumstances, I’m content. That’s how I view contentment.
0:02:49 – Speaker 2
So I think of contentment like stay in the space and the lane that God has provided for you and find peace in that space. And that contentment means not looking outside of that and wanting what others have or wanting to be like others, because that’s like the grass is always greener kind of thing and that leads to issues of complacency or jealousy or whatnot. But contentment is staying in the space that God has given you and doing your best in that space.
0:03:18 – Speaker 1
Okay, so I would say that my definition kind of lines up pretty much with yours. I would agree with that for sure. But with Matt I was like on a totally different. Like what?
0:03:29 – Speaker 2
Yeah, that’s right.
0:03:30 – Speaker 1
I dug into it a little bit more, you know, and, like we always say, just look at the definition, see what it says. So I went to dictionarycom. This is what it says the state of being contented, satisfaction, ease of mind, yeah, and I was like okay, so I’m right.
0:03:47 – Speaker 2
Like Matt, you’re wrong and I’m right and you quickly texted it to him.
0:03:51 – Speaker 1
Because I was thinking like ease of mind. You know that is a synonym for like peace, and so that’s what I was trying to say to you. Like dictionarycom, mandycom, like we, I’m in agreement here, but then this is where it gets crazy, okay, so I always like to look up synonyms because I feel like that helps me get a grasp on what the word means even more. And so I went to thesauruscom and I looked up synonyms and, oh my goodness, guess what one of the synonyms was oh boy, here we go complacency, and I saw that, okay.
So there were some others that stuck out at me to not just complacency, fulfillment, serenity, peace, so so I saw those and I was like, okay, I was right, yes, because that’s the only thing that really matters right here. I’m not searching for truth, I just like, no, I’m joking. No, mattcom, that was a joke. That was a joke. We should not just want to be right, we should seek truth. But I saw it and I was like, okay, so it kind of is in line with my definition because it has that peace and fulfillment there. But complacency was also there and it kind of just made me pause for a minute like, oh my gosh, I think my husband has a point. He could be right too. So here we go.
Matt and I are defining this word differently. I’ve looked it up in the dictionary, I’ve looked it up in the thesaurus and we’re still kind of like both rights in how we’re viewing it. And so anytime this happens, you know, now I got to go to the word of God because I got to start looking at these words and I got to start figuring out okay, I know the world definition. What is God? Put it through the lens of God. What does God say about this? Because he has so much wisdom and he’s going to be the one to shine the light on what I need to think about, like how I’m going to define contentment. So Philippians 411. It says not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have.
0:05:53 – Speaker 2
Well, Anaclesiastes 1-8. Everything is wearysome beyond description. No matter how much we see, we are never satisfied. No matter how much we hear, we are not content.
0:06:05 – Speaker 1
I can relate to that I think that plays into a lot of your definition, Kim, where you were like stay in your lane, don’t be jealous of what other people have. And then, 1st Timothy 6-8, it’s very simple. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content. That’s pretty simple. So contentment is a good thing. You know, we’re finding joy and peace in every circumstance. And I was like, okay, that lines up with the definition, that lines up with peace, serenity, fulfillment, thing that we’re thinking about.
But then I was thinking, okay, but what about Matt’s stance on complacency and becoming lazy and not continually growing as a person? And so I looked up complacency, which y’all know I write about this in talk. It’s one of the verses that I like because I feel like, as parents, sometimes we do become complacent when we feel like everything’s fine or we download an app monitoring tool and we take our hands off the wheel and we’re like complacent with parenting, the online world, right. I say that a lot. And so Proverbs 132, this is what it says about complacency Fools are destroyed by their own complacency. So, through Matt’s lens, if I think about complacency, complacency is wrong but contentment is right. So then I got even more curious about, like Matt’s description of complacency, and he was like I think people use contentment as an excuse to be lazy, and so I wanted to look that up in the scripture. There’s great verses on this in the Bible, Like Proverbs 21, 25,.
0:07:39 – Speaker 2
Despite their desires, the lazy will come to ruin, for their hands refuse to work. I’ve actually used that one with my kids about chores. That’s harsh.
0:07:48 – Speaker 1
But it’s true. It’s true, absolutely Lazy. My teenager. Our joke with her is she’s like me when I was her age. She likes to sleep in, like we’re late sleepers, like on Saturdays if we don’t have anything. Oh, just watch out. Like we’re gonna sleep. So like that’s our, like self care almost. And Proverbs six nine says but you, lazy bones, how long will you sleep when you? When will you wake up? That’s kind of like our joke verse. And she will call me. She’ll be like you are being a lazy bone today. The same with her.
But but laziness, like what we’re seeing in scripture is contentment is good, contentment is a good thing in all circumstances. But complacency and lazy are not Right. So here we have this conflict, because I believe contentment means peace, kind of what the Bible says. But Matt was thinking that contentment meant people use complacency and laziness as an excuse. So it got me even more curious about this whole situation.
I really started praying through these verses and praying through what each of these meant. I feel like God gave me some nuggets that have really helped me, and so I kind of wanted to share them. Okay. So number one is don’t use contentment as an excuse to be complacent. So good. So this is really, really, really helped me because it’s one thing to say in all my circumstances, pandemic or not, quarantine or not, rich or poor, good food or healthy food yeah, I like how I say that good food versus healthy food. I didn’t, because healthy food is a good Whatever circumstance, like having that peace, having that contentment is so good, yeah. But I think where we mess up sometimes is we get so comfortable and we get so restful in certain situations that then we’re not willing to get out of the boat or we’re not willing to do hard work and we can become lazy or complacent.
0:09:54 – Speaker 2
Well, contentment doesn’t mean comfortable. Oh, that’s good, that’s good right there. Yeah, well, contentment, sure, thank you, I’m working on it. It’s one of those things where sometimes things can be so good or comfortable that we think I don’t have to do anymore. Like you said, we’re good right here in this space and God doesn’t call us to do that. And I think that’s what Matt’s talking about that complacent space where we accept good enough as good and that’s not a healthy space to be. We should always be moving forward, like Matt said.
0:10:27 – Speaker 1
Have goals, chase dreams. You know God puts stuff in your heart for you to chase after. Those are good things to chase after. But I think what the lesson in all of this is if it doesn’t go where you think it’s going to go, or it doesn’t pan out the way you think when you chase those goals, you’re still going to be content.
0:10:48 – Speaker 2
You’re still going to have peace in Jesus, knowing you’re right where you need to be and what goes along with that so well and I’ve had this conversation with my 11-year-old many times, and even my 8-year-old is when you’re in that space of contentment and you push forward following the dreams that God has given you. Sometimes fear puts us into a state of complacency in that contentment because we try something, like you said, and we fail.
0:11:14 – Speaker 1
Yeah, I absolutely think you know like fear can paralyze you into complacency or cause you to be lazy, because you get overwhelmed with fear and then you just are stuck. So that’s one of the ways Satan can trip you up, right? The other thing that I’ve learned don’t miss today by chasing tomorrow.
0:11:32 – Speaker 2
Oh yes, that’s a big one.
0:11:34 – Speaker 1
Now, this is important because I have learned this lesson the hard way, and I immediately go back to one moment in particular. It was in Christmas of 2016. My book was scheduled to come out in February my first book, february of 2017. And I remember so, looking ahead to February like this was a dream that God had put on my heart, something that I had chased for years. I was finally going to be a published author, you know, and I was so excited about it that that God brought that plan to actually happen, like it was actually going to happen fast forward. My book came out. It was great. You know. It may not have lived up to the hype that I put in my head. So many things with that right so many hype it up so much.
But it was out and it was great and I you know I’ve seen God use it and that’s been really cool. But after it came out, I remember one time talking to my kid and they were talking about that Christmas right before. They were like do you remember when this happened? And y’all I don’t remember it. I don’t remember what happened that Christmas and you want to know why I didn’t remember that? Because I was not in the moment. I was thinking forward to two months when my book was going to come out and I was so excited about it. It was consuming my mind so much that I missed the moment.
0:12:58 – Speaker 2
It is so easy to do and I will tell you, parents that have kids in the younger years especially, I remember this so many times, wishing away the moment. You’ve heard that before. You wish away the moment because you’re looking forward to when it’s over and you find yourself saying I just need to get through this. I just need to get through this. I just need to get to the point where my book publishes. I just need to get out of diapers, I just need to get past this work project and everything will be okay. And we focus so much on that that we miss what’s happening, what God’s trying to show us and how he’s trying to bless us and lessons he’s trying to Reveal to us. And then we feel like we’re drowning and we just want out of it and we’re missing all the good things that were supposed to keep us afloat during that time. Been there so many times just wishing it away because I think it’s going to be better on the other side.
0:13:45 – Speaker 1
It’s just such an important lesson. I mean, we cannot be so focused on tomorrow that we miss the moments of today. So have contentment with what today holds and then, when you get to that moment that you’re looking forward to, you get to enjoy that moment because you’re fully present in the moment. You know and but you haven’t spent today thinking about it and it may not go the way you want something maybe. I mean, I think about this pandemic and graduations canceled and weddings canceled and you know all the things that have not gone the way that we envisioned. The spouse that God has brought you to you may not have had the wedding that you envisioned, but the spouse and the marriage God has blessed that and he’s given you that gift. And so being content and joyous in that and giving thanks for that, even though the wedding, the day, may not have looked like what you thought. And the last point, let God fill your heart with contentment.
0:14:38 – Speaker 2
You know that verse in Ecclesiastes one eight no matter how much we see, we are never satisfied. No matter how much we hear, we are never content. We are never content. I mean, that just sums it all up. I think we can all relate to that on some level.
0:14:49 – Speaker 1
Well, and I think you know jobs, goals, dreams, purses, vacations, big homes, nice cars, you know, for me, books, you know that I’m writing, all of those things are great to do and you know God may be telling you to do a certain thing and he may be in it. You know I really feel like he called me to write the book and it was. It was an obedience thing for me and my heart and they’re great to enjoy. But but they’re not going to fill your soul. God is the only one who can do that. A dream job won’t do that. Being a first time published author, it’s not going to fill your soul. Only gonna be enough. No, because you always want more. You want more readers, you want more books, you want. You want a bigger house. You want more vacations. You want the fancier car, right, more baby, more Carbs, carbs. Yeah, gonna have some Thanksgiving rolls, rolls. I like those Hawaiian rolls. What do you?
0:15:44 – Speaker 2
know we are the croissant family, you know Giving croissant.
0:15:53 – Speaker 1
Okay, we’re gonna go after. So see the the rolls are going to be good on Thursday, but they’re not going to fill our soul. They are just not, and so rely on God to give you that contentment in every circumstance, in every day of your life well and then keep being obedient, work hard and continue to mature in your faith.
0:16:15 – Speaker 2
have contentment as you’re moving forward and growing, so you don’t become complacent.
0:16:20 – Speaker 1
Yeah, as Matt would say, keep moving. We don’t want to be lazy bones around here. So, number one don’t use contentment as an excuse to be complacent, to don’t miss today by chasing tomorrow. And three let God fill your heart with contentment.
Transcribed by https://podium.page