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0:00:38 – Speaker 1
So the other day we’re leaving the Walmart parking lot, not you and me, mandy, but me and my family, me and my kids.
0:00:44 – Speaker 2
Oh, you just said Walmart. I know girl Gotta do it sometimes You do have to do it, but they have curbside pickup.
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Kim, selection and price.
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I’m telling you, i know That’s true, but it’s overwhelming sometimes, you gotta admit It is.
0:01:01 – Speaker 1
It’s a field trip for my family, though, so we gotta get on the Walmart, leaving Walmart, yes, and my son reaches into the pocket behind my chair, so I need you to imagine, like you know, those pockets in your car behind each of the driver in the passenger seat, and he reaches in there and he is like looking for homeless packs. Now, to give you a point of reference, in MOBS, mothers of preschoolers, that was like a big part of our life. We would have a craft sometime in one year. They did these things called homeless packs, where we took Ziploc bags and we added a water bottle, granola bar, like a little scripture verse, just stuff like that toothbrush, toothbrush toothbrush, all that kind of stuff.
Well, my kids just loved it. I mean, they were really into it, and that was probably eight years ago, nine years ago, and we have been making them ever since.
0:01:49 – Speaker 2
And which really cool let me just add in here real quick Is that most of our nextTalk team met at MOBS when our babies were little, True? So it kind of hold this special place in our heart as far as God brought us together for such a time as this kind of It was like a training, training ground for us?
0:02:05 – Speaker 1
Yes, absolutely. So here we are. You know, we’re driving along outside of Walmart and there was this homeless family on the side of the road and they look pretty rough. And so, you know, my son, my youngest son, reaches in the back looking for one of these homeless packs. And we don’t have anymore. We have dropped the ball, we haven’t refilled our supply and he’s panicking, he’s upset, He starts tearing up and I’m turning the corner, passing the family.
You know that kind of awkward moment where you don’t want to really look at them because you don’t want to be like I have nothing for you, but then you feel guilty for not looking at them. So it was that moment. And we drive by and he’s like mom, can you imagine how they must be feeling right now? And it was a hot day. And he’s like you know, we’re in the air conditioning and they probably are feeling the heat on their skin. And he’s like think about the dad. He doesn’t have a job and he can’t provide for his family and take care of his family and they don’t know where their next meal is coming from. And he’s going on and on painting this picture and his eyes are full of tears and you can tell that he is trying to feel what this family is feeling. He is having deep empathy for them. And in that moment I was just like, oh my goodness, i mean he even brought up Jesus. He’s like do you think these people know Jesus? Can we talk to them about Jesus? I was like, okay, okay, so we circle back, get back out of the car, go into the Walmart, pick up a few things and we go back and we drop them off And he’s just so excited. He’s like we’re going to pray for you And he talks to them for a little bit And then we leave And that’s that.
And I had this moment thinking about the story and thinking about my son and how much his empathy moved him towards compassion. So it was beyond this kindness moment where he was like, oh yeah, here’s your bag of goodies. He was moved so deeply by their situation that he wanted to know exactly what they needed. He wanted to circle back, get out of the car, do something for them, beyond just like a hey, praying for you. And that made me think am I willing to do that? Do I take the time to have enough empathy for someone’s situation that I am moved to be compassionate. I began to really examine myself and think, okay, this is something that I want to be a goal for our family, that we are compassionate. And that’s where this show kind of was born.
0:04:17 – Speaker 2
You know what I love about this story? Kim is your son and he’s young. He’s eight, he’s eight. So we’re talking about an eight-year-old here And he is really thinking about putting himself in their shoes. Yes, you know, it’s not so much just let’s give them food, or he’s really thinking about it’s a hot day. What would that be like? What would it be like to be? you know, he’s thinking as a young boy. What would it be like for me to be a dad and not be able to provide a home for my family? And I do think that’s a whole nother level. You know, that’s just not being kind. That’s a whole nother level of empathy and compassion that I feel like we all need to learn. I need to learn that more.
0:05:03 – Speaker 1
Well, it really got me thinking, i mean, it struck a chord, and so, you know, i went to the Bible and I was like, okay, lord, you know what do you say about that? And it was so interesting. I came across this verse that I have read so many times over the years and you know how that goes. It always happens like that, always happens, and it’s nothing that seems profound or huge, but it really hit home for me And I began to process what it really meant, because you see Jesus all throughout the Bible being empathetic and compassionate to the poor and the blind and the sick and sinful and sinful, Even the people living in sin.
0:05:38 – Speaker 2
I think about him saving the adulterous woman from being stoned even though she was sinful.
0:05:44 – Speaker 1
Romans 12.15,. Be happy with those who are happy and weep with those who weep. It’s so simple. It’s so simple, but I was asking myself in that moment am I weeping with those who are weeping? Because that requires you to take a minute and really see them and really put yourself in their shoes and to go to a place where you feel what they are feeling. And I have to be honest with you, i don’t think I do a lot of weeping with the people who are weeping, like my dearest and closest, but not the world, because it takes time and it takes compassion.
0:06:18 – Speaker 2
Well, and you know what It takes us seeing someone other than us having pity on our own circumstances. I mean, i hate to say that, but so many times we’re caught up in weeping about stuff in our own life that we’re missing or that we want, or whatever, that we’re so caught up in weeping over our own things that when we see someone else weeping, it’s like I don’t have anything left to give that or I don’t have any thought left to give it. And I think what’s so great about this lesson is, you know, when we find the peace in Jesus and we’ve done a lot of shows recently on contentment and finding peace that you can go listen to But when you’re really walking with Jesus, you aren’t looking inside yourself, you’re looking outward, because that’s what God is calling you to do. You have peace within your soul and then you’re looking and then you actually see people and you’re more empathetic and more compassionate, and then you can weep when they are weeping, because you have the headspace to do it.
0:07:18 – Speaker 1
That is so good. You’re absolutely right.
0:07:21 – Speaker 2
So, kim, you have taught compassion to your kid for an eight-year-old to do that. He doesn’t just wake up and think like this. So walk us through like what are some things looking back that you may have done to instill this in him, to where he has This moment, where he really sees these people, wants to help them?
0:07:40 – Speaker 1
I had to really think about that and I had to think like, where does this come from? because I don’t think I’m always that good at it And, if I’m being completely honest, i think my husband has really played a key role in our household and teaching compassion, because he came from a really rough background. But I was able to think of four things that have really helped us in our family And I see my kids doing these things and it blesses my heart so deeply So I want to share those with you. One is to listen that simple word listen that is so hard.
We all know it is because a lot of times we’re assuming like I know what people are feeling, i know what they’re going through, i know what they need. But what better way to really understand what a person is going through than to Really give them the space and the time to talk to you without talking back, without interrupting, just really hearing what their circumstances. And I think within that moment is where our heart is able to develop compassion, when we’re hearing their struggle. And, as you know, i mentioned before my husband He a lot of times will open up his room when he was a teacher and just sit and let the kids come in and just talk and talk And share what was on their heart, and he had such empathy and compassion Compassion for them because he was listening to their stories, he was giving them the space to just share what was going on, and so I think that’s really important.
0:08:58 – Speaker 2
Well, i think, a lot of times what happens is we make snap judgments about people. So, for example, the homeless family, you could just go to a snap judgment of their lazy, they don’t work. But if you listen to their story, if you get to know them, if you, you know, if you take the time You will, you could see them in a whole new light. And I think we, we pass people all the time and we make these snap judgments about them. But if we take a minute to listen, because everybody has a story on how they got there, and once we know that, yes, they may have made mistakes, yes, they may have made wrong decisions, but we have more empathy because we understand, oh, i understand how this kind of spiraled into this.
0:09:43 – Speaker 1
Now, You know. But here’s something to think about too. In addition to that, my son, my eight-year-old, didn’t get to really talk to them before he went to that place of compassion. So, as I was writing this and thinking about this first point of listening, he was able to listen without even talking to them, by just being in tune with their circumstance and being able to have empathy by watching them. I mean, he just sat there and took in visually what was going on with them and for him that was enough to go to a place of Compassion. He observed their circumstance and it spoke to his heart. So I think, even if we don’t have the ability to listen to someone’s story, we can take the time to listen to their circumstance visually and go to a place of compassion and find a way to help.
0:10:29 – Speaker 2
I love what you just said listen to their circumstance visually. I Yeah, it doesn’t always have to be communicated in words, and I think that’s a really good point for you to make here.
0:10:41 – Speaker 1
So listen, first thing, that we have to model and teach our kids And then ask And you know we’ve done a few shows on that, mandy, about asking your spouse, asking them what they need, and not just assuming that you know, and I think a lot of times if you are sitting and listening to someone you may say, okay, well, let me get you a coat. You know, just like that snap judgment, we think immediately well, well, let me just fix this need right away, and maybe that’s not what they need. And so asking questions can really deepen that level of empathy because you understand what their needs are. So you know, like, how are you feeling? What’s weighing on you the most? Are you scared? What are you hoping for? What would help you right now? What would not be helpful right now? I think that’s such an important step in having compassion for someone.
0:11:28 – Speaker 2
So you know what I think about this when I think about mealtreins, because yeah, i’m gonna go there, i’m gonna go back to the.
0:11:37 – Speaker 1
go back to the mop stays Yeah it’s a mop stage.
0:11:40 – Speaker 2
So you know, I struggled when my kids were little with depression, and mops was a great support for me. I look back and I’m like I don’t know how I would have survived that time of my life without those people in my life and all of the support that that ministry gives to young mothers. One thing that drove me crazy was somebody would just coordinate meals and people would show up at my door with meals and they were trying to be so helpful. But it was for somebody who was depressed and I’m a, I’m an Enneagram one, I’m a planner, you know, a recovering perfectionist is what I like to say. It drove me nuts that they could walk into my house and I’m not dressed and it’s four o’clock and nobody in my house is out of their pajamas And everybody’s a hot mess. It just really caught me off guard And so again, I think just don’t just jump in and start doing whatever you want to do.
Really ask the person like I see you’re struggling. What can I do right now, You know, and maybe throw out ideas. Could I hire you a housekeeper? Could I deliver some meals, You know? could I mow your yard? What would bless you and take something off your plate. But I think we really do need to ask and not just jump in, because when we jump in and do something it kind of becomes about us. I mean, I hate to say it, but it’s true.
0:12:59 – Speaker 1
I am glad you said that. I mean for the record, I love myself a meal train, So bring a meal anytime. You’re opposite, I’m not Okay you’re gonna order pizza.
0:13:11 – Speaker 2
That’s good, yes.
0:13:13 – Speaker 1
Yes, okay, so we ask what they need instead of just assuming so important in being compassionate to others. And then the next one once you know you get a decision, act. That’s step number three because, okay, i just got to be honest, i have been guilty of this so many times where I will come across and I am, i am Empathetic and I do want to hear what someone’s going through, and I’ll ask and I’ll hear and I’ll be like, oh, my goodness, and I’ll feel what they’re feeling, and then I’m like, oh, i got that deadline and I’ll run and go on with my life and not Take in what I’ve heard, ask what they need and then drop the ball and not act on it. And that Action step is so important in compassion because it means you’ve heard them, you’ve asked them what they need and then you’re willing to be Jesus to them. That’s really what it means you’re willing to step into that space of need and fill it.
0:14:08 – Speaker 2
And so action is the third step And I think it’s it’s really important well, and I love this because in the story that we opened with your son didn’t get to Ask what they needed and then act on it. But I think what you you’re saying to us is, why did he respond that way? and he has seen you model this. So he has seen you, a neighbor, struggling, and then you asking them what to do, mm-hmm, and then you follow through with what they need you to do. He has seen you model this in your life. So now, even when this opportunity comes up where it’s, you know, maybe not safe for him to have a real conversation with them or whatever, he immediately goes to what he has seen you model, because he didn’t. He didn’t get to follow these steps in the story, but he still was. He had this empathy and compassion for him that he has learned over the years By watching you do these sorts of things. You’re so kind to me, thank you.
It’s true, girl. You know these kinds of kids by I.
0:15:20 – Speaker 1
So the last one, i think is been the most important number, for The most important for our family, is to pray. One of our prayers every day is we ask God to help us see and hear the needs of his People. Asking God to develop empathy in your own heart and for your kiddos hearts is so powerful And I will tell you he will answer that prayer. He will open doors where you’ll overhear a conversation Or you’ll be in a situation where you can ask someone what their need is and you’ll start to see the world differently. You know, kind of like what you said with the snap judgments, you’ll start to have this level of empathy and compassion that may feel new to you But if you ask, i promise you the Holy Spirit will show up And he is going to give you that gift if you’re willing to receive it.
0:16:08 – Speaker 2
I love it. So listen, ask, act and pray, and that’s just going to be a continual cycle and sometimes you’ll miss some of the steps. Like you Know, your son didn’t get to ask what they needed, but he immediately went to this place of action because he had that empathy in his heart, and I love these tips that you’ve given us so that we can raise kids like your little guy, who’s so compassionate and empathetic and moved to action to help people.
Transcribed by https://podium.page