0:00:02 – Speaker 1
Welcome to the nextTalk podcast, where we share real stories and practical advice for parenting the digital world.
0:00:09 – Speaker 2
We’re your hosts, Mandy and Kim. Mandy is an award-winning author and the founder of nextTalk, and I’m the director of nextTalk, a nonprofit organization created to strengthen families through open communication. You can check out all of our resources at NextTalkorg.
0:00:24 – Speaker 1
We’re your wives, moms and friends, tackling culturally relevant topics from a Christian perspective. We’re sharing what we’ve learned and where we’ve failed. We’re so glad you’re here for this conversation.
0:00:37 – Speaker 2
Okay, so today we’re talking about a newer social media app that’s been gaining popularity. It’s called Be Real. We’re still learning how it works and deciding if we like it or not, but we wanted to share some of our initial thoughts with you.
0:00:51 – Speaker 1
Yeah, so full disclaimer here. I downloaded this app because my college kid had it And you know any glimpse into her life at college. I’ll take anything I can get at this point. You’re such a stalker mom, i’m telling you. I’m telling you. Let me tell you, face times are everything. When she FaceTimes, we drop everything. We can be eating dinner, we can be getting ready to host. The other day I had like 35 people coming over and you know, you’re cleaning toilets, you’re doing all those things 30 minutes before She FaceTimes. I’m not everything.
0:01:23 – Speaker 2
You can see the poopy toilet. I’m going to see my daughter. What the?
0:01:27 – Speaker 1
heck right, i get that. Anyway, i’m living for FaceTimes and Herbie Reels right now, so I’ve had it a couple of weeks and let me tell you I really like it. I really like it. There’s a few things that I want to talk about advantages, but then there are also definitely some concerns that we want to talk about, because there’s always good and bad.
0:01:49 – Speaker 2
Yeah. So one of the advantages, definitely one of my favorite things, is there’s no filters. You have to be real, thus the name.
0:01:57 – Speaker 1
I love that You can’t upload a photo from your. you can’t do that. You can’t download the photo to another app and do a filter and then upload it. That’s none of that. The other thing, too, that I love is it tells you when to take a picture, so you can’t just post whenever you want. So you will get a notification on your phone saying you have two minutes to capture your. be real, which there’s good and bad with this. Yeah, we’re going to get. we’re going to get to the bad part about that, but I like it, because my timeline now is filled with moms doing laundry, moms cooking dinner, and you know, i think so many times we think, oh, people live all these glamorous lives and here I am, over here just grinding in the grind. you know, like nobody gets now hard. my life is over here.
0:02:45 – Speaker 2
Getting one more stack up. where’s the match? No, i like that too, because it captures whatever’s happening, like I just had to post and we were about to record. So I’m like sitting with my microphone, no filter, no makeup on, in my exercise. I mean, it’s just what’s actually happening in the moment, not some staged. our life is amazing picture.
0:03:06 – Speaker 1
Absolutely. And you don’t. You don’t have thought in it, like what am I going to post about today? So there’s, it takes away some of that fake. Or you know just how I want to present myself to the world. It kind of takes that away. I love that about it. So that’s an advantage. you know, no filters. The other thing I like is and you can like and comment, but that’s not really the thing. Like you don’t want to get so many likes, that’s not a big deal.
0:03:29 – Speaker 2
Yeah, it’s different than you know. that was such a huge part of our conversation when we started nextTalk, because how it affected our kids. you know how many likes do I get? How are people responding? That is not the focus of this. This is about capturing who you are in the moment and then moving on, and I really like that because you don’t stay stuck in that mindset.
0:03:49 – Speaker 1
I like the premise. I kind of feel like it’s like Instagram and Snapchat had a baby. That’s how I describe be real to some people, and this is why because you’re you’re going through pictures more than text. Right, there’s not. I mean, you can put a caption, but you’re very limited in what you can write as to what you’re doing. It’s mostly about the pictures, so that’s like an Instagram part, but it’s like Snapchat, because they all start over in 24 hours and you can’t get other people’s be reals if you don’t post yours. So, for example, you know yesterday I’m posting and I saw my kid and you know some of her friends that I’m friends with and some of my friends. But then I woke up this morning and it was asking me to post And, of course, i was just rolling on a bed, right. So I was like, yeah, you gotta give me a minute, be real, you gotta give me just a second.
0:04:36 – Speaker 2
I am not ready to be real.
0:04:40 – Speaker 1
Yeah, so, but I captured myself, you know, making my kids lunch, so so you know, five minutes after I woke up I’m like, okay, here we go. But the thing here is, when I looked at my be real, i couldn’t see anything else until I posted. So it’s an incentive to share what you’re doing right now. Bye, not worry about the likes and the comments and the filters and what you look like and all of that. So that is kind of refreshing to me.
0:05:06 – Speaker 2
Yeah, I like it. I like it for those reasons too. Of course, though, with anything there are disadvantages. There’s a few things that we want to point out here, because these are good things to share with your kids if they’re on social media and if they’re considering B-reel.
0:05:19 – Speaker 1
So there’s three things that are like major, and then I want to move into also some conversations that you need to have with your kids about this. Ok, the front and back camera. So listen, when it takes a picture, it’s unlike taking other pictures. It’s going to capture you as a selfie and what is on the other side of you, so it uses the front and back camera. So why is this important? Your kid could have their laptop up that has their home address on it. It could have you know banking account information on it And then it’s out there. The other thing is you also have to be careful of like mirrors, so if your friend is in the room dressing or you’re in a locker room or something, you could easily accidentally capture someone in those. So that is the number one thing that you have to be aware of is the front and back camera.
0:06:07 – Speaker 2
So the number two thing and you know, as a parent of younger kids, this was a big deal to me as the discovery section. So you have your section where you take your photos, but then you click this thing at the top and it says your discovery section And you can see other people’s photos that are not your friends, so anybody and it’s random, all these people and it could be completely inappropriate, the pictures they’re taking, especially that front and back camera you mentioned. I feel like that’s a whole other dimension that we’re not used to seeing. That discovery section is important to know that it’s there one, and also important to know that if you do see inappropriate content you can report it. So that’s good, they have that function.
0:06:44 – Speaker 1
Absolutely, and the discovery section is a little bit different than Instagram and Snapchat. Now, listen, all of this could change with an update or you know. You know how apps are constantly updating. So, as of the date of this airing right now, the discovery section what is actually? it is a disadvantage, because there are people that you can look at And there’s no way that I’ve found that you can shut it off. But I find myself not going over there very long Like I don’t. I’m more interested in my daily life of my friends, people who have, who have friend requests me, and so it’s like a private account in that, and so it’s just two options at the top your friends or discovery, and I don’t really find myself going over there. I have a couple of times and it’s just kind of boring because people are in class, they’re falling. Well, i’m like I don’t know these people, but the people I know in real life that I see doing real stuff, it’s like fun.
One thing I do want to note about the discovery section that’s actually kind of a benefit right now. You know it’s unlike Instagram and Snapchat in the sense of there’s no news stories, right. So the discovery section in Instagram and Snapchat is so detrimental? because there’s porn, there’s inappropriate stuff, there’s like highly sexualized content over there all the time And and that’s one of the biggest things with the discovery section here, it’s just people’s photos. Now again, like you said, this hits our disadvantage category because you know there are crazies that are going to post inappropriate things. It’s going to happen where kids are going to be posting from the shower. I mean, i hate to say it, you know that’s going to happen. Um, i haven’t seen anything like that yet, but I think, as it grows in popularity, you’re going to see more porn, you’re going to see more inappropriate pictures.
0:08:23 – Speaker 2
Unfortunately, people will figure out a way to use it for bad. Yeah, so we just need to be aware of it. I mean, right now, like you said, it’s more enjoyable as adults, i think, to see our friends, but kids are more curious in that way, and so it’s important to know it’s there, okay.
0:08:38 – Speaker 1
So our top three things to be aware of. You know, front and back camera was one, discovery section was two. Number three and this is a biggie You’ve got to turn your location services off. You do not want people to be able to see where you are located, even on your close friends list. It’s just not a good idea. So a couple of things.
When you’re setting up your bio, there will be a location thing. Just put your state or don’t put anything. You don’t have to complete that area, but don’t be specific about it. So for me, i just put Texas right. This general enough. It’s fine, um, but you don’t have to put anything there. The other thing is, in location services, if you’re on Apple, you can go to settings and then you scroll down. you find the be real app, you click on it And that’s where on be real. You know you’ve given access to your camera and all of that kind of stuff. There should be at the very top it’ll say location Set. That to never. Nobody should be able to click on your photo and be able to find out where you are. Also, with all your other social media Instagram, snapchat turn that off as well for your kids. Again, you just go to settings and then you scroll to the actual app. So, facebook, instagram, be Real, whatever it is, and turn that location to never.
0:09:56 – Speaker 2
Yeah, that’s a great tip. I have it off on basically everything, except maybe a couple of things that are really important, that are just between me and my family. Another thing and you know this is not like our top three, but this is just an important reminder This is social media. People can still like and comment, even though that’s not really the main thing, like we brought up before But they can say things, they can make a comment, and so we want to remind our kids to only be friends with people you know in real life, just like we do with all the other social media that we allow them access to. It’s important and we don’t think of some things as social media, but anytime someone can comment, like, have access to you.
0:10:31 – Speaker 1
In that way it is So this is a great, a great movement into the conversations we need to have with our kids about this, and this is one of them. Definitely have a conversation because you’re going to get friend requests. You can send out your link to Be Real and invite people to join. So we only want to do that with people in real life. So if your kid is public on Twitter, you don’t want to be putting your Be Real out there for all the strangers to be joining your Be Real Again, it’s just easier if it’s private and you have less to worry about The other conversation. That I think is very important and I think this is the central conversation with Be Real. That’s different with other social media platforms And so this is like unique.
To Be Real is you’ve got to have conversations about impulsiveness, and I say that because here we have the, for the first time, a social media platform telling us when to post. So some of the conversations that we had in our home you know if you’re in class, if you’re taking a test, if you’re in a locker room, if you’re in a bathroom. You know if you’re on the toilet, if you’re on like, get specific here, and I know that we have a general guideline here of no phones and bathrooms, but I’m talking about older kids who you’ve lifted those guidelines a little bit, or you yourself Do not. Parents, do not take your Be Real as your setting on the bathroom, toilet. We don’t want you to be that real. The front and back camera will be. I just don’t want to see it.
So those conversations about impulsiveness need to be had because think about it, think about it with other social media you’re thinking about what to post And our kids will think about when is the best time to post to get the most likes. This is totally different And so we have to flip our thinking about the conversations that are needed there. So you know we have to use and teach situational awareness. It’s OK to post late, it’s okay to miss your B-real today, like that’s all right if you’re having a bad day, and you know that’s all right as well. And so, again, these conversations, i think, are extremely important and they have to be fluid. As they learn more social media and different tech, we need to adjust our conversations and realize okay, what do we need to address with this one?
0:12:53 – Speaker 2
I’d go download it and check it out first, as we say with all social media, you as a parent, look at it first, use it, look around, see the different sections like we said, discovery and then your own personal section And then make the decision is this something that I’m okay with my kid having, so that you’re prepared for the conversations And you know? another thing I want to throw in here my kids are not on social media yet, and so I’m always thinking about our shows and the conversations that we’ve had here with nextTalk and what we tell parents about your first platform and walking your kid through that in one platform at a time, and this one’s seems really simple and fun, and so it would be easy to go to that place of. Oh, this would be good for my kid for their first social media platform, but I’m not sure that that’s the best decision, and I think, mandy, you can speak into that because you have older kids. There are some things about this that are different than something like, say, instagram, including the ability to monitor it.
0:13:49 – Speaker 1
Here’s my thought on that If you’ve got a young kid you know elementary school, early middle school and who does not have social media yet Kim, you’re, you’re ages I would say download it on your parent phone and have fun with it with your kids. They’re going to be in the back camera, they’re going to be in the forward camera, They’re going to be able to look on your timeline of your friends And then that way they can enjoy it and get to know about it. But but as far as your kid has a first phone and you haven’t introduced social media yet, i’m not so that this would be the great first social media platform that they would start with, because there’s not a way to log into their account and watch it, and so I would be hesitant to recommend that. Y’all know and we’ve done a show on it before about Instagram being a first social media platform. That does not mean I believe Instagram as holy.
There is porn on Instagram. There is bad stuff on Instagram. The discovery section is a hot mess and the reels and all that kind of stuff. There’s so much content there. But what I like about Instagram is I can be logged into my kid’s account on my phone And as a first starter social media platform. That’s important because I have full access to their account from my phone, the DMs and everything that’s happening there, and I think that’s important as you’re looking for a first social media platform. So I’m glad you brought that up, kim. You know, here I am flippantly saying this is awesome, i love it, but I’m coming from the perspective of a mom who’s walked their kids through Instagram, snapchat, twitter, tiktok you know all of that stuff And so it is fun and it’s a lighter one, but it’s definitely not a rush in for younger kids and give it to them.
0:15:33 – Speaker 2
Okay. So this is really what we wanted to do today, with Be Real kind of exploding popularity, we wanted to give you some advantages, things we like about it, and then the three main disadvantages to be aware of, and then, of course, some conversation starters that you can have in your home if you’re going to allow your kids to download it. But check it out, check it out for yourself, see if you like it. We really just wanted to be real about Be Real.
0:15:56 – Speaker 1
I couldn’t help myself, sorry, okay, and y’all friend request me because I want to see you phone your number. No, I like it. I like it. Thank you so much for joining us, listening and sharing our podcast. Because of you, this show is in the top 5% of over 2.9 million podcasts.
0:16:17 – Speaker 2
We have lots of resources for you, from counseling to live events. Or if you have a show idea or a question for our team, visit our website at nexttalkorg. We’d love to hear from you At nextTalk.
0:16:29 – Speaker 1
we’re more than cyber parenting. It’s conversations to connect.
0:16:34 – Speaker 2
This podcast is not intended to replace the advice of a trained healthcare or legal professional, or to diagnose, treat or otherwise render expert advice regarding any type of medical, psychological or legal problem. Listeners are advised to consult a qualified expert for treatment.
Transcribed by https://podium.page